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In all seriousness, I've had depression... I say had because it really never truly goes away, it's still there in the background and it's a conscious decision to wake up and face the world and fight on each day.
Not being an expert and not knowing how it has affected 1000s of others.... I can say that when I broke, I retreated from the world - curtains drawn, stopped going to work, parents begging me at the front door to let them in while I hid in my own house and pretended not to be in.
Stopped looking after myself completely, zero self esteem, zero confidence. The most I did was answer the door to receive a takeaway, house was a tip and I mean bad tip.
Until friends called the police and they kicked my door in and took me back to my parents. But I never talked about it, never asked for help - mainly because of the shame, shame of how I'd failed and let everyone and myself down and at the time I didn't realise what was happening to me as I'd completely lost perspective of everything. Days and nights passed with no consequence.
This was over 10 years ago, I'm stronger for it now in some ways but there is always something in the background. It takes effort not to give in again. It took effort to want to get better too - my family could have done all they wanted and they were a great help, but if I hadn't wanted deep down to get better, nothing could have helped.
I can't speak for others though one of my mates has had it too - which turned out to also be aspergers and we have had very different experiences. I didn't see a doc or counseling, I used family and my years of training in martial arts and yoga to help me - and in large part my depression was financial/physical world based, so once I cleared the debts it became a lot easier. My mate went to the priory, is still medicated to the eyeballs and is a totally different person with possible chemical imbalances in the brain.
Perhaps its a genetic disposition and something that some folks have to battle with for their whole life if their are susceptible.
I can only speak for 2 real cases, myself and my friend. During the time (and for my mate after too) - there was massive weight gain as theres no motivation to look after yourself with decent food or exercise, physical appearance goes right out the window - like shaving, haircuts, cleaning properly, appearances in public a no no. I could go on.
Granted it can be different for everyone and I genuinely have the utmost heartfelt empathy for anyone that struggles with depression..... from everything I see, I don't think Ade has depression.
Maybe he's bipolar, has some other disorder, maybe he's just a cunt and then after having pissed everyone off he struggles, maybe an attention seeker. I dunno.
But from everything I've experienced first hand and seen in a close friend, depression is not what this guy has
Not being an expert and not knowing how it has affected 1000s of others.... I can say that when I broke, I retreated from the world - curtains drawn, stopped going to work, parents begging me at the front door to let them in while I hid in my own house and pretended not to be in.
Stopped looking after myself completely, zero self esteem, zero confidence. The most I did was answer the door to receive a takeaway, house was a tip and I mean bad tip.
Until friends called the police and they kicked my door in and took me back to my parents. But I never talked about it, never asked for help - mainly because of the shame, shame of how I'd failed and let everyone and myself down and at the time I didn't realise what was happening to me as I'd completely lost perspective of everything. Days and nights passed with no consequence.
This was over 10 years ago, I'm stronger for it now in some ways but there is always something in the background. It takes effort not to give in again. It took effort to want to get better too - my family could have done all they wanted and they were a great help, but if I hadn't wanted deep down to get better, nothing could have helped.
I can't speak for others though one of my mates has had it too - which turned out to also be aspergers and we have had very different experiences. I didn't see a doc or counseling, I used family and my years of training in martial arts and yoga to help me - and in large part my depression was financial/physical world based, so once I cleared the debts it became a lot easier. My mate went to the priory, is still medicated to the eyeballs and is a totally different person with possible chemical imbalances in the brain.
Perhaps its a genetic disposition and something that some folks have to battle with for their whole life if their are susceptible.
I can only speak for 2 real cases, myself and my friend. During the time (and for my mate after too) - there was massive weight gain as theres no motivation to look after yourself with decent food or exercise, physical appearance goes right out the window - like shaving, haircuts, cleaning properly, appearances in public a no no. I could go on.
Granted it can be different for everyone and I genuinely have the utmost heartfelt empathy for anyone that struggles with depression..... from everything I see, I don't think Ade has depression.
Maybe he's bipolar, has some other disorder, maybe he's just a cunt and then after having pissed everyone off he struggles, maybe an attention seeker. I dunno.
But from everything I've experienced first hand and seen in a close friend, depression is not what this guy has
Bad ju ju is what this guy has. I hope he sorts out his issues and leads a rich and varied life, I also hope spurs can terminate or pay his contract out as he is not fit for work and is on a fixed term deal.
Yup. Me too. Spot on.
Thanks
I have talked about it before in a different thread to try to help
Spurs1882DW
I wanted to give him hope and show him that things can turn around.And members of this forum were amazing, even paying for a ticket for him to see a game.
I can talk candidly about it and this wasn't a post for sympathy, I was trying to shed light on the Ade debarckle.
I have no shame these days in passing on my experiences. They are just words and I guess that they can't really convey what it is truly like, but they may at least serve as an indicator.
Depression is like one of those things folks scoff at and don't fully appreciate if they haven't seen or experienced it.
It's something that's far too easy to scam and it is a varied thing - like that co-pilot that apparently had depression and crashed the plane. To me - god only knows how that came about, I wouldn't haven even been capable of going to work, never mind looking smart and flying a plane (and personally I suspect there may be more to it) but hey, it can affect different people in different ways.
Although, with that said there are common things too and at least for me... Adebeyor is way off point.
If I had to sum up depression in a few words, it would be ....... slow death by non participation in life
It can be a destroyer of lives and have whole families dragged down by it. Some recover fully, some live with medication for the rest of their lives, some have a far more tragic ending.
Perhaps Ade has issues.
But it is kinda perplexing and insulting to see some of the things banded about and it has nothing to do with the point of view that he's loaded so wtf.
Thanks
I have talked about it before in a different thread to try to help
If I had to sum up depression in a few words, it would be ....... slow death by non participation in life
I watched my father die this way. Perfect depiction.
I'm sorry to hear that my friend, you have my deepest sympathies
Likewise. Except it was my mum. After my dad died suddenly, she got progressively less interested in life or anything it had left to offer her. She totally let herself go & whilst it was a heart attack that killed her, her lack of enthusiasm for doing anything played a huge role in her decline.
Mental health problems are insidious & don't discriminate. It also takes many forms. My brother can be as high as anything on life one day, the next he can be in the pit of despair even with his medication. With him (bi polar, lithium lifer) it's the ups & downs that are acute. That's why it's difficult to say with certainty that Ade hasn't got mental health problems. I have to raise an eyebrow when I see him flaunting his wealth & looking rather satisfied with his life because it doesn't fit the stereotype of someone ill. But then I have to remember seeing my brother at his worst some years ago. He was wired a lot of the time. Sharp as a razor, very popular, the life & soul of the party. The next day he could be sat in floods of tears about nothing in particular. Just overwhelmed with a crushing sadness that came from nowhere. & in those moments he would often talk of suicide
OK.... I'm just gonna say it...
the club are granting him compassionate leave based on his FACEBOOK POSTS?? They having to check in on FB these days to see how their employees are doing??
Surely there is someone at the club who speaks to him on a regular basis enough to assettain that something wasn't right... rather than scrolling through his FB page to work out he's going through some personal problems...
I can only assume they tweeted him the news that he was to receive some compassionate leave...?
Along with an invite to play Candy Crush!
I would hope that they have & are in direct contact with him and it corresponds with his fb post. I would hope....
The time when he was given compassionate leave, and the time when you announce you're giving it aren't necessarily the same. This could be just a part of an on-going pattern of Adebayor's time at the club, for all we know.
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Don't get me wrong. I want Ade out of our club. There's a lot of bad history at a lot of clubs. It can't all be the fault of the press or fickle fans or difficult managers.
And based on all perceivable evidence I believe this guy
1) is not a good influence on the youngsters in our squad
2) is poor for team morale
3) bad for the club in general. His negatives far outweigh his positives
4) whatever it is thats going on, it aint depression and it's been happening at all the clubs he's been at
5) quite possibly he's just a bad egg
6) but also when he goes, at least financially he will happily see his days out unless he does something stupid
It's time for him to leave.
I agree, and apologize for that post. The top part was in reply to someone else, and I'd deleted it as I didn't actually want to post it, but it seemed that it transferred over. Going to delete it now, but don't want you to feel that I was aiming that at you. It was entirely unintended. Sorry.
Thanks
I have talked about it before in a different thread to try to help
And members of this forum were amazing, even paying for a ticket for him to see a game.
I can talk candidly about it and this wasn't a post for sympathy, I was trying to shed light on the Ade debarckle.
I have no shame these days in passing on my experiences. They are just words and I guess that they can't really convey what it is truly like, but they may at least serve as an indicator.
Depression is like one of those things folks scoff at and don't fully appreciate if they haven't seen or experienced it.
It's something that's far too easy to scam and it is a varied thing - like that co-pilot that apparently had depression and crashed the plane. To me - god only knows how that came about, I wouldn't haven even been capable of going to work, never mind looking smart and flying a plane (and personally I suspect there may be more to it) but hey, it can affect different people in different ways.
Although, with that said there are common things too and at least for me... Adebeyor is way off point.
If I had to sum up depression in a few words, it would be ....... slow death by non participation in life
It can be a destroyer of lives and have whole families dragged down by it. Some recover fully, some live with medication for the rest of their lives, some have a far more tragic ending.
Perhaps Ade has issues.
But it is kinda perplexing and insulting to see some of the things banded about and it has nothing to do with the point of view that he's loaded so wtf.
Get out of your own arse..."Ive had depression so I can tell if someone who Ive never met is or isnt depressed"....
Cretin
lol... are you serious?
Wow... a new low
Ya know, when I joined this forum... you were an intimidating figure. You even seemed knowledgeable.
The truth is you're pathetic.
I was wondering if I should ignore you.... that just made up my mind. Cya
Bye then....try not to accidently see my posts like everyone else who "has me on ignore" does though