How the fuck am I the cynic? These cunts are taking you all for fools. There was a meeting some weeks or months ago where a bunch of spivs got together and decided that you were thick enough to digest any old Harry Kane pish they could peddle.
Fuck me, I've even read some cunt go on about the beauty of the Poch Malbec image. Fuck my arse man!
'hey, Josh, I'm writing this item about an English soccer player and part of the client's remit is that I replace his father with his soccer coach but I'm not sure how to do it. I mean, he's from Argentina and the client didn't even specify how good his English was. Any ideas?'
'Argentina? I had a really nice wine from Argentina in that steak house over on 23rd last week.'
'Josh, you're amazing!'
'What? Whadda say?'