My pitch to Spurs for getting this job:
This job is fucking mine, you cunts.
- SpursTV series where Lloris reads the dictionary.
- Supermarket sweep game show at the Sainsbury's starring Ledley.
- Pimp my ride with Dukes the kit boy hosting in the Xhibit role.
- ITK hour hosted by Brian Lamela.
- Discount Travel tips featuring Daniel Levy.
- 24 hour live webcam of the SpursTV employees smashing their heads continually into office walls trying to think of features to do now that Sandro and Holtby are gone.
- For the American support, Brad Friedel will stage a dramatic reenactment of the signing of the Declaration of Independence based on his memories of observing it live as a teenager.
- Myth busters: was Dawson actually delighted?
- "Maury(icio)": Was Sherwood actually Bentaleb's father? Live DNA tests conducted by Maury(icio) and staff.
- "Life's Good": Adebayor takes us behind the scenes of his Instagram posts.
- "Spurs Sexy Shagging Sixty Seconds" starring the hairless wonder himself, Nacer Chadli!
- "One-Way Ticket": a travel show based around players giving SpursTV an exclusive tour of the towns they grew up in. First episode is Paulinho showing us his hometown of São Paulo, Brazil. He is "accidentally" left behind and the show is thereafter cancelled.
- "Tours of London with Mousa Dembele": He spends the whole time trying to dribble out of a phone booth.
- "Piss-take" starring Vlad Chiriches. He drinks a shit ton of Tuica and teaches the viewer snow sports.
This job is fucking mine, you cunts.