Am I Normal ?

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John Thomas

John Thomas

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Before the Newcastle game, I found a quiet spot in my house away from my family and said some prayers, asking God to please make sure we got the 3 points. As he hadn`t been taking much notice of my requests lately, I promised that if we won I would donate £10.00 to charity. As we all know we lost, so the charity lost out on £10.00 too. Come the Man City game, I realised that perhaps the reason my prayers weren`t answered was because I made my charity offer as a condition of the result. In other words, perhaps God thought I was blackmailing Him. So after requesting 3 points at the Etihad, or at the very least 1 point, I donated £10.00 by credit card to the Phillipines cyclone disaster fund before the match hoping that would show my devotion and clinch Gods help in swinging the result in our favour. We lost 6 fucking 0. Now, my wife opened our credit card statement today and couldnt hide her surprise at my good deeds. She thinks its not in my nature to act so spontaneously where charity is concerned. She`s even suggesting we set up a monthly direct debit for save the chlidren or Oxfam or something. The question is should I tell her the truth about my motivation. Or should I let her believe I really have developed a compassionate touch. If i do tell her the truth I`m worried she might think I`m not normal and arrange some sort of counselling for me. Please tell me I`m normal and I`m not the only one to do these sort of things. Any advice will be truly appreciated. Thanks
 
I can't tell you how many candles I have lit on a Sunday, I have reconciled myself that God has probably other things to worry about than football results. For every one of us that pray for the right result, there must be an opposing fan doing the same, so we just cancel each other out. My faith is very important to me and I don't like to trivialize it, but I still pray intensely for a last minute equaliser/winner.
I would set up a regular payment to a charity that you have an affinity with, you can then also claim Gift Aid. It will be make you feel better that you are doing some good.
 
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John Thomas said:
Before the Newcastle game, I found a quiet spot in my house away from my family and said some prayers, asking God to please make sure we got the 3 points. As he hadn`t been taking much notice of my requests lately, I promised that if we won I would donate £10.00 to charity. As we all know we lost, so the charity lost out on £10.00 too. Come the Man City game, I realised that perhaps the reason my prayers weren`t answered was because I made my charity offer as a condition of the result. In other words, perhaps God thought I was blackmailing Him. So after requesting 3 points at the Etihad, or at the very least 1 point, I donated £10.00 by credit card to the Phillipines cyclone disaster fund before the match hoping that would show my devotion and clinch Gods help in swinging the result in our favour. We lost 6 fucking 0. Now, my wife opened our credit card statement today and couldnt hide her surprise at my good deeds. She thinks its not in my nature to act so spontaneously where charity is concerned. She`s even suggesting we set up a monthly direct debit for save the chlidren or Oxfam or something. The question is should I tell her the truth about my motivation. Or should I let her believe I really have developed a compassionate touch. If i do tell her the truth I`m worried she might think I`m not normal and arrange some sort of counselling for me. Please tell me I`m normal and I`m not the only one to do these sort of things. Any advice will be truly appreciated. Thanks
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Kill yourself. And video it. John Thomas.
 
This is hilarious! And have you considered praying to a different god? Keep changing until we finally win. Then you know which god is the real one, therefore simultaneously ending most wars throughout the world.
 
John Thomas said:
Before the Newcastle game, I found a quiet spot in my house away from my family and said some prayers, asking God to please make sure we got the 3 points. As he hadn`t been taking much notice of my requests lately, I promised that if we won I would donate £10.00 to charity. As we all know we lost, so the charity lost out on £10.00 too. Come the Man City game, I realised that perhaps the reason my prayers weren`t answered was because I made my charity offer as a condition of the result. In other words, perhaps God thought I was blackmailing Him. So after requesting 3 points at the Etihad, or at the very least 1 point, I donated £10.00 by credit card to the Phillipines cyclone disaster fund before the match hoping that would show my devotion and clinch Gods help in swinging the result in our favour. We lost 6 fucking 0. Now, my wife opened our credit card statement today and couldnt hide her surprise at my good deeds. She thinks its not in my nature to act so spontaneously where charity is concerned. She`s even suggesting we set up a monthly direct debit for save the chlidren or Oxfam or something. The question is should I tell her the truth about my motivation. Or should I let her believe I really have developed a compassionate touch. If i do tell her the truth I`m worried she might think I`m not normal and arrange some sort of counselling for me. Please tell me I`m normal and I`m not the only one to do these sort of things. Any advice will be truly appreciated. Thanks
Click to expand...


there's no such thing as normal mate, but that is some funny shit lol

your wife will definitely think you're a dozy cunt if you tell her the truth though so you might want to get afew more lies in order

BUT

if she's now furiously sucking your cock at every given opportunity then set up the damn charity account man :nawty:
 
Mrs Perryman said:
I can't tell you how many candles I have lit on a Sunday, I have reconciled myself that God has probably other things to worry about than football results. For every one of us that pray for the right result, there must be an opposing fan doing the same, so we just cancel each other out. My faith is very important to me and I don't like to trivialize it, but I still pray intensely for a last minute equaliser/winner.
I would set up a regular payment to a charity that you have an affinity with, you can then also claim Gift Aid. It will be make you fell better that you are doing some good.
Click to expand...

I know what you mean mate. When I was praying to myself for the City match, I thought to myself : " A City fan , somewhere around the world must be praying for a win". I instead prayed for a good match between the sides and prayed that to give Spurs some hope in winning along with inspiring plays.
 
Mad Yid said:
there's no such thing as normal mate, but that is some funny shit lol

your wife will definitely think you're a dozy cunt if you tell her the truth though so you might want to get afew more lies in order

BUT

if she's now furiously sucking your cock at every given opportunity then set up the damn charity account man :nawty:
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if he has to give to charity to get aheadjob his a stupid cunt for marry a woman that dosnt give them often simply because shes in love..

though theres plenty who will do it to suck the $$$ right out of you
 
OZHotspur said:
if he has to give to charity to get aheadjob his a stupid cunt for marry a woman that dosnt give them often simply because shes in love..

though theres plenty who will do it to suck the $$$ right out of you
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plenty of women love giving bjs until they get married and have kids

then they change

sometimes marriage alone changes them after awhile

sometimes having kids changes them

but very few women stay the same after years of marriage

anyway I'm good I just got a bj and some doggy style action about 2 hours ago off the wife lol:dude:
 
So, when you think about giving money to charity we lose. And when you actually do it, we get properly ****ed.
Please tell me someone owes you money and you will get it back before sunday?
 
Mad Yid said:
plenty of women love giving bjs until they get married and have kids

then they change

sometimes marriage alone changes them after awhile

sometimes having kids changes them
Mad Yid said:
plenty of women love giving bjs until they get married and have kids
YIDDO YOU WERE RIGHT SHE JUST SAID YOU CAN FUCK OFF IN THAT STATE
then they change

sometimes marriage alone changes them after awhile

sometimes having kids changes them

but very few women stay the same after years of marriage

anyway I'm good I just got a bj and some doggy style action about 2 hours ago off the wife lol:dude:
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
Mad Yid said:
plenty of women love giving bjs until they get married and have kids

then they change

sometimes marriage alone changes them after awhile

sometimes having kids changes them

but very few women stay the same after years of marriage

anyway I'm good I just got a bj and some doggy style action about 2 hours ago off the wife lol:dude:
Click to expand...
 
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