When I joined Twitter in 2010, one of the first things I did was work with
WindyCOYS
(That's right, I'm name-dropping twenty words in. Deal with it.) on trying to make up a song for the hot, exciting young talent Sandro. He had just been the belle of the débutant ball, and just like people get to lose their virginity twice these days, he had two brilliant débuts: one in Milan and one in North London, but both against the same club.
So Windy suggested making up a song along the lines of "Mambo italiano", and I fleshed out the lyrics a bit and even made a video of it featuring Sandro's performance in the CL against our next opponents, whom he had smashed to bits:
Anyway, having publicised the video and suggested the song, it fell to me to hear those words every bright-eyed and bushy-tailed wannabe Berlin lives in mortal fear of hearing: "great work, mate, but I can't see the lads in Park Lane ever singing this." I haven't written another song since, save the "Isn't it awfully nice to have a Jenas?" ditty I tossed off a few months ago.
But less about me and more about our next opponents, Associazione Calcio Milan. There are a lot of reasons to despise this club, beginning with the red in their shirts, but lately they're in the news mostly because of the shenanigans of la famiglia Berlusconi. First there's Paolo Berlusconi, who used racial language in referring to the club's newest arrival, Mario Balotelli. He later explained that racism works differently in Italy, and he's probably right. In the meantime, I've heard that Silvio has taken to referring to his brother as "Suarezetto".
And now Silvio is in the news, first because of allegedly bribing politicians in Naples, and next because topless Ukrainian women are throwing themselves on him in protest. Just another day at the office for one of the most polarising figures in Europe.
Either way, the club are now holding on to a precarious third place position in Serie A, a full five points behind Napoli in second and only one point above groundsharing rivals Inter and the fascists who protest too much, Lazio. A slip-up in their run in could mean no CL, and then what would the club have? And only one win off the pace, lurking in sixth, are Fiorentina. Speaking of Fiorentina, I loved those old shirts:
Batigol? More like Beautyshirt, amirite?
As for the match itself, I'm surprised that AVB hasn't pulled a Fergie and complained about having to play a European club right after a Sunday match, but perhaps manners are part of the Continental curriculum. I don't know. Either way, some amount of rotation will probably be on order. Will USA come back in goal? Probably. Will Caulker take Dawson's place? Maybe. Holtby? Why not? And I suspect that 75% of this forum will render their keyboards inoperative an hour before kickoff as their ejaculate shorts the circuits after reading that Adebayor has been dropped in favour of Defoe.
I suspect we'll see another nervy 2–1 performance, which will mean more nerves on the away leg. Still, if we wanted the soft path to Amsterdam, we should have won our group. That said, nothing beats a glory night against a top European team, or so one or two books have told me.
The match kicks off at 20:05 BST, which is 22:05 Vilnius time and 15:05 EST, so duck out of work early, Americans. Or at least start going to work on that tequila at lunch. In the UK, ITV1 have the honours of broadcasting the match, and in the US Fox Soccer Channel will be showing it. To find the match in your area, please consult the listings.
Edit: Oh, we're playing Inter? Er, they still have Maicon, right?
:adelol:
So Windy suggested making up a song along the lines of "Mambo italiano", and I fleshed out the lyrics a bit and even made a video of it featuring Sandro's performance in the CL against our next opponents, whom he had smashed to bits:
Anyway, having publicised the video and suggested the song, it fell to me to hear those words every bright-eyed and bushy-tailed wannabe Berlin lives in mortal fear of hearing: "great work, mate, but I can't see the lads in Park Lane ever singing this." I haven't written another song since, save the "Isn't it awfully nice to have a Jenas?" ditty I tossed off a few months ago.
But less about me and more about our next opponents, Associazione Calcio Milan. There are a lot of reasons to despise this club, beginning with the red in their shirts, but lately they're in the news mostly because of the shenanigans of la famiglia Berlusconi. First there's Paolo Berlusconi, who used racial language in referring to the club's newest arrival, Mario Balotelli. He later explained that racism works differently in Italy, and he's probably right. In the meantime, I've heard that Silvio has taken to referring to his brother as "Suarezetto".
And now Silvio is in the news, first because of allegedly bribing politicians in Naples, and next because topless Ukrainian women are throwing themselves on him in protest. Just another day at the office for one of the most polarising figures in Europe.
Either way, the club are now holding on to a precarious third place position in Serie A, a full five points behind Napoli in second and only one point above groundsharing rivals Inter and the fascists who protest too much, Lazio. A slip-up in their run in could mean no CL, and then what would the club have? And only one win off the pace, lurking in sixth, are Fiorentina. Speaking of Fiorentina, I loved those old shirts:
Batigol? More like Beautyshirt, amirite?
As for the match itself, I'm surprised that AVB hasn't pulled a Fergie and complained about having to play a European club right after a Sunday match, but perhaps manners are part of the Continental curriculum. I don't know. Either way, some amount of rotation will probably be on order. Will USA come back in goal? Probably. Will Caulker take Dawson's place? Maybe. Holtby? Why not? And I suspect that 75% of this forum will render their keyboards inoperative an hour before kickoff as their ejaculate shorts the circuits after reading that Adebayor has been dropped in favour of Defoe.
I suspect we'll see another nervy 2–1 performance, which will mean more nerves on the away leg. Still, if we wanted the soft path to Amsterdam, we should have won our group. That said, nothing beats a glory night against a top European team, or so one or two books have told me.
The match kicks off at 20:05 BST, which is 22:05 Vilnius time and 15:05 EST, so duck out of work early, Americans. Or at least start going to work on that tequila at lunch. In the UK, ITV1 have the honours of broadcasting the match, and in the US Fox Soccer Channel will be showing it. To find the match in your area, please consult the listings.
Edit: Oh, we're playing Inter? Er, they still have Maicon, right?
:adelol: