Tottingham Mad Libs!!!1!

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This is a re-post from http://www.cartilagefreecaptain.com , a great American spurs blog and podcast. Check them out!

OP: http://www.cartilagefreecaptain.com/201 ... r-mad-libs

Contest time! Sorry, you don't win anything, just recognition in a later post and the admiration of your fellow commenters. Using the spectacular transfer rumor template put together by our own Uncle Menno, take a shot at constructing a transfer rumor. We'll recognize:

Funniest mad lib

Most realistic mad lib

Most outrageous mad lib that is not outside the realm of possibility

Get cracking! Here's your template. Leave your mad lib in the comments.
[Shit Team Coach] in the Hunt for [Fringe Spurs Player] in SHOCK SWITCH

[Tottenham Fringe Player (TFP)] has been linked with a shock move to [Shit Team] as [Shit Team Coach] seeks to bolster their [attack/defense/goalkeeping] options ahead of next season's [league] campaign, The Sun understands.

[TFP] arrived at White Hart Lane in [year] to high acclaim, but has found himself out of favor with Spurs coach Harry Redknapp, and the [position] seeks to restart his career with a new club. [Shitty English Football Rag] understands that the [Shit Team Nickname] gaffer has put in a "cheeky" bid of [criminally low figure £] bid for [TFP], hoping to lure him away from Spurs with the promise of more playing time and a fresh start at the club. However, this bid may hit a snag over Spurs' valuation of [TFP] which is reportedly [batshit insane figure £], and [Shit Coach] may instead opt for a season-long loan.

"'Ees a top, top lad," Redknapp reportedly said about [TFP], "But the chairman and I will be looking over all of the [position] players over a bacon sandwich this weekend."

[TFP] is one of several Spurs players expected to force their way out of White Hart Lane, including [Player 2], [Player 3], [Player 4], and Luka Modric. Meanwhile, Redknapp has cast his eye on [aging English footballer] and plans on an audacious swoop for the player sometime in the next few weeks.
 
[Tottenham Fringe Player (TFP)] has been linked with a shock move to [Shit Team] as [Shit Team Coach] seeks to bolster their [attack/defense/goalkeeping] options ahead of next season's [league] campaign, [Shitty English Football Rag] understands.

David Bentley has been linked with a shock move to Liverpool as Brendon Rodgers seeks to further bolster their shit wide midfield options ahead of next season's Europa League campaign, The Sun understands.
 
SpursLegend said:
[Tottenham Fringe Player (TFP)] has been linked with a shock move to [Shit Team] as [Shit Team Coach] seeks to bolster their [attack/defense/goalkeeping] options ahead of next season's [league] campaign, [Shitty English Football Rag] understands.

David Bentley has been linked with a shock move to Liverpool as Brendon Rodgers seeks to further bolster their shit wide midfield options ahead of next season's Europa League campaign, The Sun understands.
Click to expand...


:harrylol:
 
Steve Kean in the Hunt for Dos Santos in SHOCK SWITCH
Dos Santos has been linked with a shock move to Blackburn as Steve Kean seeks to bolster their Substitutes bench options ahead of next season's Championship campaign, The Daily mail understands
 
SpursLegend said:
[Tottenham Fringe Player (TFP)] has been linked with a shock move to [Shit Team] as [Shit Team Coach] seeks to bolster their [attack/defense/goalkeeping] options ahead of next season's [league] campaign, The Sun understands
Click to expand...

There we go. No need to pretend it's going to be any other "news"paper.

Niko Krancjar has been linked with a shock move to Manchester City as Roberto Mancini seeks to off-set Carlos Tevez ugliness to prevent children from having nightmares ahead of next season's Premier League campaign, the Sun understands.
 
Wenger in the Hunt for Khumalo in shock swoop

Bongani Khumalo has been linked with a shock move to Woolwich Wanderers as Arsehole Wanker seeks to bolster their shit defensive options ahead of next season's relegation battle, CaughtOffside.com understands.

Khumalo arrived at White Hart Lane fuck knows when, to zero acclaim, and has found himself out of favor with Spurs coach Harry Redknapp who hates him because he's foreign. The defender seeks to restart his career with a new club, and CaughtOffside.com understands that the Gooners' gaffer has put in a "cheeky" bid of fifty pence and a half-eaten Snickers, hoping to lure him away from Spurs with the promise of more playing time and a fresh start at the club, as well as special back rubs from the manager. However, this bid may hit a snag over Spurs' valuation of Khumalo which is reportedly £80m plus van Persie, and Wagner may instead opt for a season-long loan.

"'Ees a pwopa cunt, we only got him coz Levy said we can get money," Redknapp reportedly said about the South African, "And I want to get my 15% of transfer fees before i'm fired around Christmas with 2 points from 8 games."

Khumalo is one of several Spurs players expected to force their way out of White Hart Lane, including potential wonderkid Jermaine Jenas, Ladies' man David Bentley, the unfortunate Giovani dos Santos, and Luka Modric. Meanwhile, Redknapp has cast his eye on Paul Scholes and plans on an audacious swoop for the player sometime in the next few weeks.
 
Two Saints?

Showalter in the Hunt for Dos Santos in SHOCK SWITCH
Dos Santos has been linked with a shock move to the Baltimore Orioles as Buck Showalter seeks to bolster his options at foreign translator ahead of next season’s AL East campaign, The Sun understands.

Johnny Two Saints arrived at White Hart Lane in 2007 to high acclaim, but has found himself out of favor with Spurs coach Harry Redknapp, and the (hopefully former) midfielder seeks to restart his career with a new club. The Sun understands that the O’s gaffer has put in a “cheeky” bid of 10 pounds of tacos for Johnny Two Saints, hoping to lure him away from Spurs with the promise of more spanish-speaking players and a fresh Mexican buffet. However, this bid may hit a snag over Spurs’ valuation of Do Santos which is reportedly 10,000 pounds of tacos, and Buck Showalter may instead opt for a season-long loan. “Sure, I know he can’t play baseball. But he runs fast, and I’m sure he’ll get used to the smaller ball size.” said the skipper.

“’Ees a top, top lad,” Redknapp reportedly said about Two Saints, “But the chairman and I will be looking over all of the Mexican players over a bacon burrito this weekend.”

Giovani is one of several Spurs players expected to force their way out of White Hart Lane, including Jimmy Greaves, Gary Lineker, Harry Redknapp, and Les Ferdinand. Meanwhile, Redknapp has cast his eye on Cheryl Cole and plans on an audacious swoop for the former WAG sometime in the next few weeks.
 
Chelsea in the Hunt for Dos Santos in SHOCK SWITCH

:gio:

Giovanni Dos Santos has been linked with a shock move to Chelsea as Abramovich seeks to bolster their attacking options ahead of next season's Premiership campaign, The Sun understands.

Dos Santos arrived at White Hart Lane in 2008 to high acclaim, but has found himself out of favor with Spurs coach Harry Redknapp, and the dazzling winger seeks to restart his career with a new club. It is understood that the blues owner has put in a "cheeky" bid of £82 million, hoping to lure him away from Spurs with the promise of more playing time and a fresh start at the club. However, this bid may hit a snag over Levy's valuation of GDS which is reportedly £83 million, and Chelsea may instead opt for a season-long loan.

"'Ees a top, top lad," Redknapp reportedly said about Gio, "But the chairman and I will be looking over all of the squad over a bacon sandwich this weekend."

Dos Santos is one of several Spurs players expected to force their way out of White Hart Lane, including Rafael Van der Vaart, Gareth Bale, Ledley King, and Luka Modric. Meanwhile, Redknapp has cast his eye on Owen Hargreaves and plans on an audacious swoop for the player sometime in the next few weeks.
 
Owen Coyle in the Hunt for William Gallas in SHOCK SWITCH

Gallas has been linked with a shock move to Bolton as Coyle seeks to bolster their defensive options ahead of next season's nPower Championship campaign, The Sun understands.

The former Gooner arrived at White Hart Lane in 2010 to high acclaim, but has found himself out of favor with Spurs coach Harry Redknapp, and the defender seeks to restart his career with a new club. Footballtransferleague.co.uk understands that the Wanderers gaffer has put in a "cheeky" bid of £2m bid for Gallas, hoping to lure him away from Spurs with the promise of more playing time and a fresh start at the club. However, this bid may hit a snag over Spurs' valuation of Gallas which is reportedly £30m, and Owen Coyle may instead opt for a season-long loan.

"'Ees a top, top lad," Redknapp reportedly said about Gallas, "But the chairman and I will be looking over all of the defensive players over a bacon sandwich this weekend."

Gallas is one of several Spurs players expected to force their way out of White Hart Lane, including Heurelho Gomes, Louis Saha, Niko Kranjčar, and Luka Modric. Meanwhile, Redknapp has cast his eye on Emile Heskey and plans on an audacious swoop for the player sometime in the next few weeks.
 
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