Rapiest Spurs XI

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After my rapiest Spurs player question, I've been thinking about a Rapiest Spurs XI from my time watching Spurs and this is what I've come up with. It was fun to do. As Neil Buchanan used to say "Try it yourself"

Erik Thorsvedt - Easy one this as he's a viking and they're famous for their raping and pillaging

Christian Ziege - Ugly and acne faced. If he wasn't a footballer he would have been good friends with girls who only saw him as a friend. The constant rejection would have led to him shooting up his school.

Nouradine Naybet - Looks like a cab driver from Malia or Aya Napa who locks lone drunk girls in his cab at 4am. Wouldn't surprise me if he was nicknamed "Seedios Sexpestos" in the dressing room.

Anthony Gardner - With his long limbs, he probably used them to pinch girls arses in clubs without them knowing it was him

Paul Satleri - Had very evil eyebrows

Darren Anderton - Got a big chin and had a long side parting for his whole career. Looks the type you'd live next door to for years and would make moves on your daughter as soon as she became a teenager when he was supposed to be tutoring her for maths.

Michael Brown - A niggly pest on the pitch and probably a sex pest off it

Timothee Atouba - Looks like he wouldn't take no for answer, would rip her clothes and split her in half

Tim Sherwood - For some reason I can just imagine him being drunk, encroaching on a woman's personal space and just not giving up, even if the woman in question tells him she's an AIDS ridden lesbian

Giovani Dos Santos - Sends girls messages with naked pics of himself. Can imagine him being a sex pest and pinching girls' arses when he's out clubbing the night before training

Dimitar Berbatov - It runs in his family


Manager - David Pleat - Nuff said
 
GodSaveTheKing said:
There's an obvious one that's been missed. :cunt: His last victim is still wondering why their stomach is ringing whenever he calls them up...
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I thought about including him, but couldn't bring myself to do it
 
When I first read the title of this thread, I was thinking about Ginola, then Kranjcar and maybe Mido (during Ramadan, when he's got less blubber on).

Then I realised it meant players that look like rapists, not players you'd like to forcibly manlove.
 
This may be a bit out there, and I like the guy, but Sandro has that 'I work in Faliraki as a bar PR fella, and is likely to prey on pissed up girls that struggle to find there way home' kind of look.
 
Razor Ruddock looks like a dodgy geezer who's got a white transit he never lets anyone borrow. All there is in the glove box is a roll of gaffer tape.

Also, Ilie Dumitrescu looks like he wouldn't just be rapey, but would eat his victims afterwards as he believes chomping on flesh gives him special powers. He's got a freezer in his garage full of human heads.
 
AberdeenYid said:
Razor Ruddock looks like a dodgy geezer who's got a white transit he never lets anyone borrow. All there is in the glove box is a roll of gaffer tape.

Also, Ilie Dumitrescu looks like he wouldn't just be rapey, but would eat his victims afterwards as he believes chomping on flesh gives him special powers. He's got a freezer in his garage full of human heads.
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I used to have Dumitrescu's name on my shirt when I was a kid, I wonder if that says anything about me? I'd better go take a long hard look in the mirror
 
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