Home Opener (vs. Stoke), 15 Aug, 15:00 BST

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THANK GOD FOR THE SCUM.

Their loss means that our SERIOUS RELEGATION CONCERNS will be put off for another week, as we slide comfortably into what will, no doubt, be still a bottom half finish because Levy didn't sign Messi.

Bring your fourth issue of The Fighting Cock to tear up the cover and use the foil to blind Charlie Adam with the sun's reflection!

Stoke! What to say… they shit the bed against Liverpool, they may sign a Swiss Albanian who had Piqué's baby, and they're called the Potters, because they sell lots and lots of grass.

Stoke! The team that Messi fears, the fans whom Wenger fears. Stoke!

Other Stoke trivia:
  • Dracula was written here.
  • The person in the back on a tandem bicycle is called the "stoker".
  • If you change one letter, you get "smoke", which is also a word.
  • Their stadium is named after an encyclopaedia, because it's just like a library!
This unheard of event (Spurs playing at 3 on a Saturday) means you all have to set your clocks appropriately. The match begins at:

7:00 Los Angeles time
10:00 New York time
15:00 London time
17:00 Vilnius time
Midnight Sydney time

It will be showing on NTV+ in Russia, meaning if I weren't busy marching 20km to raise money for War Child, I'd be able to watch it at my local. Otherwise, figure out your own television situation by looking here:

http://www.livesoccertv.com/match/1613873/tottenham-hotspur-vs-stoke-city/

A lineup!

[formation=433, De Gea, Trippier, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Rose, Song, Kramer, Bentaleb, Berahino, Kane, Shaqiri][/formation]
 
A dog will run on the pitch to a huge cheer then disappear into the Stoke corner never to be seen again.

Spurs 2-0 with a bullet.
Dog cheeky cunt ,im Miss Cash Converter .
river-island-shorts-stoke-city-fc-top-schuh-heels_400.jpg
 
Their loss means that our SERIOUS RELEGATION CONCERNS will be put off for another week, as we slide comfortably into what will, no doubt, be still a bottom half finish because Levy didn't sign Messi.

Only a Spurs fan could write that hahah so many truths in such a small sentence.
 
Hopefully it will be good to be back at the lane. Knowing us we'll make it difficult whatever, but we owe these cunts for the two defeats last season. Plus it will be nice to see Mark Hughes miffed after a defeat.
 
[formation="4231, Lloris, Walker, Alderweireld, Wimmer, Rose, Mason, Bentaleb, Carroll, Eriksen, Alli, Kane"][/formation]

I watched that horrible Stoke - Liverpool game and Stoke are going to be so hard to break down.
Not a game for Dembele holding on the ball while they get 10 men behind it. I've no faith in Lamela doing it against Stoke.
Carroll could offer us the kind of creativity to open them up. I can't not have Alli in the team. He's played out left before. He would have less responsibly than in the middle and should cause Glen Johnson trouble.
 
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