Foreign Yid Funnies

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I know that being a Yid in America can have its downsides, but I know that it can have some funny bits too. Why not share your funniest stories about being a Yid outside England (whether you're on a European tour, or, like me, actually live there.) To get us started, just the other week someone asked me what a Tottenham was.
 
Not so much funny but annoying: Me: "Yeah, I'm gonna watch Spurs on TV today." Idiot who knows I don't like basketball: "Who they playing? Denver? Houston? HURR DURR"

I would very much like to punch everyone who does that.
 
When in the San Siro for Inter away, I left it to late to get a flight so sat in the home end. We formed a little corner of yids, and when we sang 'your support is fucking shit" a young Inter fan started singing it with us in his funny accent, a bit like any comedian attempting a funny foreign accent on purpose. When Bale scored the 3rd he jumped up from his friends bounced over and we embraced him like our own. I miss the little lad.
 
When I tell people I'm a spurs fan, they tell me Tim Duncan is getting old. Also, i asked this kid I know who's supposedly an Woolwich supporter what he thought of the NLD. Didn't know what I was talking about.
 
I normally get comments like: "Tottenham... really? Why? Why not United or Woolwich, they are better!!", then I shoot them in the head with a adjustable spanner canon. Whatever, I'll do whatever I want...
 
A lot of kids I'm at school with are Woolwich/chelsea/manure fans, and they don't get the concept of tradition. There's one other kid who gets it; he's from Croatia, he won't have a word said against Niko, Luka, or Charlie, and he didn't come into school the day after the 3-0 scum loss either.
 
The administrative assistant for my department at my previous job is the mother of Ashley Baker, a GK for the English Women's National Team. Apparently, Ashley has a scholarship to play for the women's team at the University of Georgia. Her Mom noticed my Spurs walkout jacket one morning and said, "Spurs? Really?". I asked who she supported and the answer was <ding-ding> you guessed it...Man U. I decided to get a little dig in and said, "So Hope Solo is pretty impressive, eh?" At that time Solo was also the keeper for the Atlanta Beat in the WPS so she was a bit of a local celebrity in addition to her presence on the US team. Mrs. Baker rolled her eyes and told me that Hope couldn't hold a candle to her Ashley.

With all due respect for motherly love and all that -- AHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
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