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The Fighting Cock predicts

11 min read
by The Fighting Cock
The Fighting Cock is world renowned for it's tactical insight and understanding the nuances of football. So what do the team and guests predict for Mauricio Pochettino's first season at the helm? Glory? Disaster? Who have we tipped for an almighty season and who would be the ultimate guest on this season's pod?

full-white-600x600When it comes to Spurs, The Fighting Cock very rarely get it wrong. Therefore who better than the TFC team and guests to predict what will happen this season. Case, Windy, Bardi, Ricky, Flav, Rob White, Thelonious and James Maw have looked into their crystal balls and predicted what will happen this year. Please note, should you make any money by betting on our predictions, please send 10% of your winnings to us. Have a great season. Love the shirt, sing your heart out and Come On You Spurs!!!

What are you most looking forward to about the forthcoming season?

CaseTFC: Making The Fighting Cock website a paid membership service and rinsing some Spurs fans for their hard-earned cash.

BardiTFC: The look of horror on the face of Pochettino’s translator as the Argentinian offers to insert Chirpy into Neil Ashton via Andros Townsend’s forehead. Failing that the commentary “Harry Kane scores his first England hattrick” with the image of the striker pulling up his shirt to reveal the message ‘Windy, this is for you! F*ck you Flav'”

RickyTFC: Apart from recording the podcast, drinking expensive cans of beer in the Bell & Hare beer garden with my Tottenham fwends and missing my train stop because of excess drinking from a glorious win, I’d have to say a playing style and Erik Lamela.

RobaWhite: I’m most looking forward to the end of the season! No, seriously excited to see if Poch can make a difference. As ever eagerly anticipating the first home match.

WindyCOYS: On the pitch – an exciting new attacking philosophy that combines defensive structure with creative freedom. We have so much untapped potential in the squad, and I’m looking forward to seeing what Pochettino can do.

Off the pitch – plenty of 1882 (with shoes well and truly on), some away days and, of course, recording the podcast.

Flav_Bateman: Singing songs at Tottenham; signing shirts; posing for pictures; pouting. Tits.

Spooky23: The moment Roberto Soldado controls the ball with the back of his neck, loops it over his head, lets it run down his chest onto his foot, flicks it up and hits it on the volley into the corner of the goal from 35 yards out to complete his first half hat-trick against the scum at their swamp.

TheloniousFilth: 1882 nights, drunken away days, and a more eye-catching playing style courtesy of our new manager.

JamesMawFFT: Seeing Erik Lamela in a dinner jacket on Instagram when he wins PFA Player of the Year.

What do you think our new manager’s biggest challenge is?

CaseTFC: Winning the Premier League in his first season… blindfolded.

BardiTFC: Coming to terms with the expectation levels at White Hart Lane. We want to win, and we want to win well.

RickTFC: Pochettino is well known for his high pressing tactics, i’d say his biggest challenge is getting his team to maintain that tempo for 90 minutes. Good luck with that Sweatienne Capoue.

RobaWhite: Working with Mr Levy. Managing expectations of the natives.

WindyCOYS: Getting the best out of players that he didn’t sign, and wouldn’t necessarily have chosen. But having seen what he did with some of Southampton’s players, I’ve every faith in him getting the best out of at least some of them.

Flav_Bateman: Harry Kane.

Spooky23: Making sure he avoids eye to eye contact with Chirpy. How can anyone trust a chicken that looks like something George Lucas would use in a Star Wars prequel, walking around the stadium touching up kids and adults with limp arm shakes and pats on the back? Pure evil. Stay away Poch, or you’ll be a broken man like AVB.

TheloniousFilth: Convincing the world that Kyle Naughton is a professional footballer.

JamesMawFFT: Winning over those moaners and groaners in the crowd who barely gave AVB a chance – particularly with Redknapp (and Hoddle) returning for our first home game of the season. If he does that, there’s just the small matter of placating Levy.

Who will be the first name on the team sheet on opening day?

CaseTFC: Hugo Lloris.

BardiTFC: Christian Eriksen, he started to prove last season that he has the power to be a match winner.

RickyTFC: Hugo Lloris, Jan Vertonghen, Christian Eriksen. All three.

RobaWhite: Hugo Lloris.

WindyCOYS: Lloris – he’s just brilliant.

Flav_Bateman: Harry Kane

Spooky23 Lloris is such a given he shouldn’t be considered for this question. It’s like asking ‘Will the Tottenham players wear football boots for the match?’. So with that in mind, I’d select Erik Lamela. That way nobody will ever make a joke about him being missing or dead.

TheloniousFilth: Hugo Lloris

JamesMawFFT: Real answer and comedy answer are the same – Hugo Lloris.

Who is your player to watch?

CaseTFC: The King Asiatic Nobody’s Equal, Big Harry Kane. Warm it up!

BardiTFC: Eric Dier as I have never seen him play.

RickyTFC: Erik Lamela is looking hungry, he’s bonding with his team mates and he’s going to be playing with confidence. It’s his time. Erik’s coming to get you.

RobaWhite: The fella Lamela. Has to be his time to shine.

WindyCOYS: There are quite a few youngsters that I half expect to break through this season, but I think Harry Kane in particular will excel under Pochettino. F Flav right in the P.

Flav_Bateman: Harry Kane

Spooky23: I expect Lamela to slowly slowly shine. But all eyes on Eriksen who will be our catalyst for creative cohesion. If he can retain some consistency and if we can protect him and the space around him, then he’ll make us tick.

TheloniousFilth: Lamela, with a full pre-season behind him, and the confidence of the manager and his team-mates should be a sight to behold.

JamesMawFFT: Andros Townsend. He’ll improve given the right coaching and tactical guidance and hopefully Pochettino can give him that.

It’s Spurs, so something will probably go wrong spectacularly – what will it be?

CaseTFC: Early December fixture, Lamela rounds 3 players and scores an absolute “Tony Yeboah”. The whole team piles on him in celebration and Lamela is left in a crushed mess at the bottom. Out for 6 months. The Mail go with the headline “Flat Erik” and the Mr Ozio track is Christmas number 1 after a campaign by the scum.

BardiTFC: Soldado takes a selfie whilst driving and runs over the car park attendant at Spurs Lodge and gets sent to prison.

RickyTFC: We’ll blow yet another lead, whether goals or points to them lot down the road.

RobaWhite: It will be discovered that Mr Levy has sold fracking rights under the site for the new ground, causing large sinkholes to open up all around the N17 area.

WindyCOYS: Modibo Maïga will score against us. No, hang on, that’s crazy talk.

Flav_Bateman: Harry Kane.

Spooky23: We lose 5-2 to Woolwich after dominating and then capitulating but the game is abandoned and replayed and we lose 5-2 again. Then in the return fixture due to a space time anomaly that sees a worm hole suck the Woolwich coach into deep space, the game is forfeited in Tottenham’s favour and the Premier League computer awards Woolwich a 5-2 win.

TheloniousFilth: We get stripped of our Europa League trophy because we played an ineligible player.

JamesMawFFT: I can see the stadium issue rumbling on in the background for a while yet. I can imagine there being a few more obstacles to overcome on that front.

What would you consider to be a successful season?

CaseTFC: Winning something…. anything. That’s how you measure success after all. I really want to win the FA Cup, I love that competition. If that doesn’t happen then as long as there are signs of progress/potential under Pochettino and our fanbase are a bit more united then that would certainly be an improvement on the previous years.

BardiTFC: Playing good football and uniting a fanbase that has been fractured for quite sometime and in turn making White Hart Lane a happy place.

RickyTFC: Semi final of any cup.  Coming away from WHL not only satisfied, but jubilant over one of the ‘Top 4. We have a clear plan and philosophy. We may not be smashing everyone, but I can see what we’re trying to do. Erik Lamela removing that silly earring and wearing his hat correctly.

RobaWhite: Keeping the same manager, so some stability, instead of one step forward two steps back.

WindyCOYS: Enjoying the football, and winning a trophy. I’m desperate for us to win something.

Flav_Bateman: Finishing above West Ham.

Spooky23: Style. Swagger. Swashbuckle.

TheloniousFilth: Eye-catching football, faith in our manager, players all playing like they want to be there.

JamesMawFFT: I’ll consider this season a success if I’m not wishing it was over after six months. I want to see us improve our style of play and give the cups a proper go – off the top of my head I can only remember us playing genuinely well in one cup/European game since Milan away three-and-a-half years ago (that was Inter at home in 2013).

Where do you think we will finish in the Premier League?

CaseTFC: It’s easy to expect too much these days after our flirt with the Champions League. You can look at who we’ve sold and ponder the “what if’s…” but we’re not in position to compete with the draw or money of someone like Real Madrid. So we lose our best players and we try and rebuild. Unfortunately, that’s just how it works.

We’re not top of the food chain. I expect us to push for CL places again but finish about 5-6th. I don’t see how you can expect much more than that when you look at the other teams.

BardiTFC: Realistically 5th, but with our Magnificent Seven now fully adjusted to life in North London, perhaps we can sneak third.

RickyTFC: 5th/6th. A top four finish is just too much to ask at this moment in time. First season under Pochettino and we don’t have the financial clout like the rest.

RobaWhite: 5th.

WindyCOYS: 6th.

Flav_Bateman: 3rd

Spooky23: Top 4. I’m a maverick with delusion. We are always competitive even when on paper we stand no chance. Ignore last season, the pressure is off this time round and although it might initially be slow-brooding, others will also need to find their feet.

Momentum. Get it right at home, get the crowd loud and proud and you stand every bit a chance of making others insecure. Football is boring if you’re defeatist before a ball is kicked. Heart on sleeve.

TheloniousFilth: 6th, but there is no reason we can’t finish in the top 4 if our players click, I worry about Pochettino not having a plan B but he has a better squad now than he did at Southampton so hopefully that will be put right.

JamesMawFFT: 6th

And how will we do in the cups (FA Cup, League Cup, Europa League)? 

CaseTFC: We’re gonna win the FA Cup and go no further than the quarter finals in the others.

BardiTFC: Knocked out early in the FA Cup, losing in the semi final of the League Cup to United, but we will march to glory in the Europa League. Warsaw in spring will be Lillywhite.

RickyTFC: FA Cup – quarter final, League Cup – semi final and Europa League – quarter final.

RobaWhite:  FA Cup 5th round, League Cup Semi, Europa Last 8.

WindyCOYS: FA Cup – Quarter-final. League Cup – Winners. Europa League – Semi-final.

Flav_Bateman: We’ll probably win them all.

Spooky23: Would like us to look like we have some conviction to win a cup. The FA Cup would be a good standing point but the Europa League would be equally good, for the banter of qualifying for the CL.

The thing that concerns me is that the bread and butter of the league is where you build character and momentum. We must not get distracted and prioritise. But hey, no pressure. Echo of glory and all that.

TheloniousFilth: FA Cup: Quarter Final Capital One Cup: Finalists Europa League: Win

JamesMawFFT: I can see us getting to Wembley one way or another, and hopefully at least the last four of the Europa, which would be new territory for modern-day Spurs. I’d quite like this to be a 2006/07-style season with a shedload of cup games.

Finally, who would be your dream podcast guest for this season?

CaseTFC: Gazza would be pretty special. Or that girl who sucked-off 24 lads for a drink in Magaluf. One of those two.

BardiTFC: The Ossie Ardilles and Ricky Villa double act would be fantastic. As Spurs are slowly becoming ever more Argentinean it would be great to spend an evening listening to them talk about 1978, ticker tape, Mario kempes, coming to Spurs, Euro and FA Cup glory and the change in culture. David Ginola comes a close second.

RickyTFC: Jude Law, he’s well fit and he supports Tottenham. I’ve got things on my chest I need to ask him innit.

RobaWhite: Charles Bronson, high security lifer in Dartmoor prison, not the actor. Interviewed in his cell by Ricky, who has to be smothered in Lurpack.

WindyCOYS: Ledley. My hero.

Flav_Bateman: Spooky

Spooky23: Tori Black or Lexi Belle. Or both. Would sh*g them in the toilet. How is that connected to Spurs? It’s the Fighting Cock. We do what we want. So I’ll be having Tori and Lexi thank you very much.

TheloniousFilth: Wiley

JamesMawFFT: Tim Sherwood. He can do the youth update.

All views and opinions expressed in this article are the views and opinions of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of The Fighting Cock. We offer a platform for fans to commit their views to text and voice their thoughts. Football is a passionate game and as long as the views stay within the parameters of what is acceptable, we encourage people to write, get involved and share their thoughts on the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.

2 Comments

  1. Danny Norman
    15/08/2014 @ 9:14 am

    I have only read the introduction and the word ‘helm’ seems so appropriate for the foremost echelon of our club…it’s like he is in command of a giant nob…just saying – now I’ll read the rest.

  2. Danny Norman
    15/08/2014 @ 9:49 am

    Harry Kane

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