Last year as the final whistle sounded on a disappointing season it felt good to get some space and hypothetically suggest not coming back, but here we are ready for more. Paul Johnson looks deep into his soul and tells us why Spurs matter to him and why he can't wait to get back to […]
Falling in love again
Immediately after the final whistle it began. A private monologue of misery, one that I’d had on occasions before, but there was something different this time – it felt like an unbreakable bond had in fact been broken. The depth of disappointment I felt was (or seemed) fathoms below the normal post season pain. I thought they’d lost me.
The words flew through my mind:
“I can’t see me renewing after that. One of the worst seasons I can recall in over 30. It wasn’t the results or where we finished. It just felt so awful, so disappointing, so painful, so disorganised, random, aimless and ultimately pointless.
“They’ve lost me. Sherwood, Levy, ENIC, StubHub, Eastlands, The Death Star, all of it. I don’t like it anymore. There’s no good, the joy has gone. I’m done with that.”
But something unexpected happened in the intervening weeks. The sheer, unadulterated joy and brilliance of the World Cup was a surprisingly cathartic experience. Being sucked in to a thrilling festival of football, able to enjoy the games as a near neutral, consuming football in a slightly different way. I could simply admire the unfolding drama of each game as a dispassionate observer.
The results were secondary to the spectacle itself. There was something to admire in every game, something to grip my attention, excite the senses and push me to the edge of my seat. Perhaps even jump out of it. I was left exhausted, excited and elevated after some games. It reminded me why I love football and why I wander up the High Road. Spurs hadn’t lost me, I’d lost Tottenham.
And so I started to think.
What is supporting Spurs all about. Really, if you strip away all the noise and nonsense. Why did I start and what really matters?
[linequote]Once I was stood on the terrace, I had been sucked into the drama. I was in, this was it, and they had me[/linequote]
April 30th 1978. Tottenham were visiting Southampton, my home town. I knew a lot about Spurs as my two older brothers were devoted fans who on their return from boarding school would always show me their incredible and comprehensive scrap books of newspaper cuttings of match reports. But I’d never been to a real game of football – I’d seen The Big Match frequently and always watched the full day drama of the FA Cup Final but televised football was exceptionally rare.
Here though was a chance to go and see the players in the flesh. In real life. I could watch the idols and heroes I’d read all about and seen very rarely on crappy highlights shows. I could see Glenn.
The fact that Spurs needed to not lose to secure immediate promotion back to Division One was secondary and almost an afterthought. That was not why I was going – although once I was stood on the terrace, I had been sucked into the drama. I was in, this was it, and they had me.
And now 36 years later I think I and many have lost touch with why we go, what the point is and what really matters. We’ve become conditioned and conned into thinking that a finish outside of the Top 4 is a failed season. You’re a nothing club, with no hope, ambition or chance of real success.
When I started going it was 1st or nowhere – and we were never 1st, but now 4th is a success, why is that?
[linequote]I’m going because I love Spurs. Because of Glenn and the white shirts[/linequote]
Three sides have done better than you, you’ve won nothing – you’ve just got an invite to dinner at the best restaurant, whilst those that failed get the scraps for the Europa League fast food franchise.
We gauge our Managers and playing staff against this mythical and misleading objective – this mirage of make believe. “FOFO” – 4th or f*** off, might be appended to Pochettino’s contract. But not by me – I’m not falling for it anymore. It’s not why I renewed and it’s not why I’m going.
I’m going because I love Spurs. Because of Glenn and the white shirts. Because we’ll always have a player that will make my heart soar. Because we try and play football the way it should be played.
I’m going because of swagger, for the noise at night games, because of Bill, Ardiles, Archibald, Perryman. I’m going because Gareth Bale was made in Tottenham and I witnessed it.
[linequote]I know we’ll lose some daft games but I can’t revel in a win if I don’t accept the risk of losing[/linequote]
I’m going because Lamela might illuminate a grey day. I know we’ll lose some daft games but I can’t revel in a win if I don’t accept the risk of losing. There are 36 years between a 7-0 hammering at Anfield in 1978 and a 6-0 massacre at Eastlands – we’ve always been prone to a stuffing. That’s who and what we are. But we also mauled Milan and knocked nine past Wigan.
So my hopes for next season are not hard wired to a Top 4 place. I want to see a flick I’ve never seen before, a volley that takes my breath away, a fight back against the odds. A goal that I can talk about for hours and hours. The emergence of another star in the finest tradition of the club. A chant or song that makes me laugh. A team that cares, that grows and matures playing expansive, free flowing, exciting football that makes my heart race.
A team with an identity. One that looks like Tottenham.
I’m letting go of the Sky induced fixation and I already feel better for it.
Hello Tottenham – God I’ve missed you
All views and opinions expressed in this article are the views and opinions of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of The Fighting Cock. We offer a platform for fans to commit their views to text and voice their thoughts. Football is a passionate game and as long as the views stay within the parameters of what is acceptable, we encourage people to write, get involved and share their thoughts on the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.
24 Comments
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16/07/2014 @ 1:19 pm
Great article….
16/07/2014 @ 1:24 pm
Agree with above. Great read.
16/07/2014 @ 2:03 pm
Great article….I am American born and raised in Detroit…fell in love with “football” although the English were the ones to call it soccer first!…back during 2008 euro’s.
Fell in love with Tottenhams style, Uncle Harry, and Bale (even though he played defense primarily), Palacious work rate and bad tackles lol, and Modric, and the fact that they were not top 4 and really not in contention during the 2008-2009 season.
I wanted a club that I could grow with…not a annual contender…and its been a wild ride.
Great article! COYS!
16/07/2014 @ 2:03 pm
How refreshing to see the real love come in this article. I was born in Tottenham and have followed them since the days of Ron Burgess, Ted Ditchburn etc, was even mates with the nephew of Les Bennett, a name not known to many of you. So I have seen the ups and downs, and have shared the pain of many and the many pleasures over this time. What has always been important to me is that we try to play football, that players give 100 per cent come of the pitch having given everything.
The team get well paid is it to much to ask them to earn that, although I appreciate that times have change and many have become mercenaries and that perhaps I am old fashioned in my thinking.
Nothing will really change for true spurs fans for despite the fact that they test our patience maybe even redue us to tears, we will always love them in the hope and expectation that they will not let us down.
Keith
16/07/2014 @ 6:42 pm
great article from Paul, and a reply from Keith that I can totally embrace. I too have followed this great club of ours since Bill Nick WORE the white shirt along with Alf Ramsey and pushed and run their way to the title. I have seen glory and despair and shed tears of joy and sadness over the years , and know that will never change. If one can understand, only ONE TEAM can win the league, and only ONE TEAM can win a cup final it does help to come to terms with not being that ONE TEAM every time. That is, just as long as us fans can see the players gave it their best shot and played with some style. I can live with that anyway. Last season it was obvious for many reasons that did not happen, this season I feel we will be back up there matching the so called bigger clubs and gaining the results. Our under achieving new boys from last season will come good on the field this time round and the new manager will install that winning mentality. We will still stumble in a few games but we all will be smiling a lot better at the end of the season even if we do not achieve that ONE TEAM position. That will happen sooner than later believe me, keep the faith, cheer the lads on and not bemoan them anymore. COYS.
16/07/2014 @ 2:06 pm
Well played.
16/07/2014 @ 2:09 pm
Not wishing to introduce the merest hint of precipitation on your parade (in which I stand shoulder to shoulder with you) but how many more seasons can we endure like the past two? I started watching spurs in the mid sixties…….did not win much but the football was breathtaking. Over the past two seasons we have not been close to winning anything and the quality of football has been heartbreaking. In my mind spurs have always been about style,Gilzean,Greaves,Hoddle ,Klinsman and Ginola not frustrated journeymen footballers like Sherwood who wish to inflict their lack of elan and class on the spectators. Will Pochettino provide that spark,that buzz you feel at the lane when something that unites the fans into euphoria happens in front of you? I hope so,I hope so.
16/07/2014 @ 2:11 pm
Fabulous article
16/07/2014 @ 2:24 pm
Great article, fuck the top 4 – lets just enjoy spurs and supporting spurs and let it become a rollercoaster ride again , not the bland modern rational version of it.
16/07/2014 @ 3:17 pm
Yes.. Echo most of that. The thing that has changed is the mass wages other teams are prepared to pay and attracting that top player is far more difficult and holding on to them even more tough. That may not change either as Athletico won the league in Spain and are still losing their top players to the money teams. Sad…
However under Pochettino I do believe this maybe our new dawn to at least enjoy our football again. Even if some fans want everything… NOW….
16/07/2014 @ 3:19 pm
Filled my eyes a little reading that last bit.
Despite hearing/reading what I have about Poch I haven’t the faintest clue what to expect, not even my gut is giving me a clue which is a first in my footballing life. Either way I just want to see beautiful, fluid, attacking football with The Tottenham Way back in full swing, better than ever, catching the World’s attention and admiration like Total football did in the 70s and 80s.
I feel ashamed that I argued we should ditch the Tottenham Way as it was holding us back, but once AVB was sacked I began to realise that it’s who we are and also the reason why I fell in love with this club even more! You can never change who you really are, you embrace it more than just expect it.
I don’t want top four either, I want stunningly football, I want trophies and glory, the Tottenham Way!
16/07/2014 @ 3:23 pm
Great article. I fully agree with all that was said. I want great free flowing football. I want to develope youngsters and I want the team to show heart and fight. Give me that and I’m happy. At the time I thought AVB was the one and when he got sacked I thought it might have been a bit harsh. Now looking back I can’t believe we didn’t do it sooner. He is everything tottenham isn’t. Mind numbing boring football with the goal only on winning no matter how it’s done. Happy he got sacked. Happy we went through the season we did for all the supporters to realize what it means to be a SPURS supporter and to get behind the new manager and philosophy. LOVE IT COYS!!!!!!
16/07/2014 @ 3:36 pm
Great article, reminds us what it is all about. Remember as a 14yo telling my parents I was going to a friend’s for the day, taking last couple of quid out of my Post Office account and jumping on train via Waterloo to that same Southampton game. Sky TV and their “battle for the top 4” nonsense along with Super Saturday/Sunday/Monday and massive player wages have taken lots of the fun out of it all. Echoing many of the comments above, give us something exciting , not bland and sterile in an attempt to grind out a result. Lots of legends mentioned above, let’s hope likes of Lloris, Erikssen, Lamella and others can be added to that list.
16/07/2014 @ 5:23 pm
Terrific, remember that season well, never crossed my or anybody else I knew to give up on our club, does make you wonder about a lot of these younger fans who bleat on about top four…. to be honest, I’d rather beat Arsenal 4-0 in the FA cup final than win the Champions League! Good luck for the new season everyone COYS!
16/07/2014 @ 6:17 pm
Don’t take fright,
We are Lillywhite,
We will play with style,
And a pinch of fight!
COYS
16/07/2014 @ 6:49 pm
Good article,
Been a fan since 74, not as old as you lot, 8@) lol. Agree with you all tho! Hoddle & Waddle used to dazzle me, Yet often Sugar and Levy have baffled me!!! The last 2 years have been painfull, but as we all are, I am blindingly optimistic about the new season!! So many unknowns, 17th or 1st i dont really care, just wanna see football played with Tottenham flair!!!!!
COYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
16/07/2014 @ 6:53 pm
Brilliant… well said. COYS
16/07/2014 @ 7:39 pm
Brilliant article.
“We’ve become conditioned and conned into thinking that a finish outside of the Top 4 is a failed season. You’re a nothing club, with no hope, ambition or chance of real success.
When I started going it was 1st or nowhere – and we were never 1st, but now 4th is a success, why is that?”
So, so true. Love Spurs & the club. Fuck all the doubters…just enjoy.
16/07/2014 @ 7:43 pm
Great article! Totally agree. The biggest thing that worried me about last season however, was that we never really had a “Greaves, Gazza, Hoddle, Ginola or Bale”. Throughout the 3 decades I’ve supported Spurs, no matter how bad the team was or where we were in the league, we always had a player who could, and inevitably would, pull out some magic. And that 1 moment, made all the bad times momentarily disappear and reminded you why you support this great club… And that wasn’t there last season. Let’s hope Erikson, Lamela or someone else can be that 1 magic player this season. COYS!
16/07/2014 @ 8:10 pm
Thanks Paul, as always, a very well written article. A timely reminder to us all who we are and what we are about. Let’s get behind the team and sing our hearts out!
COYS!!!
16/07/2014 @ 8:54 pm
Well that was a read and a half. A typical spurs fans view of where we were and where we are now and in future. Upwards and onwards.
CoYS.
16/07/2014 @ 9:59 pm
Thank you I enjoyed this article and reading all the comments. Makes a refreshing change to most of the desperate and viscious stuff written about our team. I was inspired to support Spurs after the Ricky Villa FA cup winning goal. I was prompted to watch it as a result of some strange bet in our school class (I was only 11) little did I know what I was letting myself in for by becoming a fan. It’s been traumatic particularly the night of the Champions League Chelsea win surrounded by Chelsea fans it was just hideous! Quietly optimistic this year, and completely agree with the sentiment here, let’s have some entertaining football and a happy team (regardless of top 4 or not). COYS!!!!
17/07/2014 @ 12:38 am
Get focused and devoted and locate a spot where you can play daily, whether with peers or other
footballers. Do you wear your own football package when actively playing football along with friends on the park or even wear your
shirt casually around town or perhaps is this your ritual to wear
your groups colors when going down to the pub. I guess a handful
of suspensions was enough to satisfy the NCAA.
01/08/2014 @ 2:18 pm
This captures everything I feel. From the sheer disappointment of last season. To being blinded by the top four. To not caring so much about where we finish and to starting enjoying what makes Tottenham Tottenham.