Ok so I’m not from Thailand, America or even France (who would want to be?). Im from Woking, Surrey. But I feel my story needs to be heard.
I stream every spurs game online because the old man is a man of morals and hates sky with a passion, so refuses point blank to shell out. Every game, 45 minutes before kick off I gather the team news from various news feeds and report the starting lineup to said old man, he is ofcourse the reason I am a spurs fan and I owe him at least a weekly team update.
“So in goal we have Friedel”
“Hang on slow down!”
“Right start again.”
And so I read out the lineup at a snails place while he pictures the formation in his mind
“Modric, Sandro, Parker, Bale”
“For f*ck sake what is that twitchy mug doing playing Modric on the left!”
“God knows, maybe its some tactical genius”
After our weekly rage about ‘Arry its off to throw on THE shirt, the one I wore when we qualified for the champions league, I’m ashamed to say I have washed it since, not through my own choice but mainly the fact the my mother is a complete OCD nut job when it comes to cleanliness.
If there is a match before ours I will watch that, all the time the nerves building in the pit of my stomach, Even when we where on that great run of form I was nervous, you see I am 25 years old and to young to remember us winning anything except the Carling cup.
and so its 3:00 I crack open a Peroni and take a swig….Suddenly realising we havn’t played at 3:00 on a Saterday all year and that its another 2 and a half hours until 5:30 when we actually kick off thanks to some monkey deciding all our games need to be early or late.
A few beers later and its kick off time, the players walk out the tunnel the music plays and I feel like I have to stand up/run around/jump about or do anything to get rid of the nervous tension (Sorry to disappoint that I havnt had a wank before a spurs game as of writing this).
45 minutes of excellent football follow but for some reason its still 0 – 0, we get to half time and have to endure some twat who calls them self a pundit talk cack for 15 minutes before I can enjoy watching Spurs play again. So I go and make a sandwich.
We take a lead on 55 minutes through a free kick…..(only joking) probably VDV scoring an audacious goal on the turn, Giving a loud “WHOOP!” I run downstairs to let the old man know weve scored:
“That VDV, some player he is”
All looks to be good but then on 75 minutes we concede from a corner. Letting out a loud “BOLLOCKS” and a miserable shout down the stairs
“1-1 from a poxy corner!”
“For f*ck sake Spurs sort it out” floats back up to my ears
A nervous 15 minutes remains untill in the 88th minute we have a penalty! Rafa places the ball down…puffs out his cheeks…runs and ….THE BASTARD STREAM FREEZES! Cue a mad rush to the BBC/Radio/Twitter to find out if we have scored! Ofcourse we have, its Rafa!
I then jump about for a bit a few more cheers and then calmly walk downstairs “2-1 dad, never in doubt….”
Sums up most of the spurs matches I watch!
SpursFTW on the forum
g33kNchips on twitter