Age: Cryogenics makes age a redundant detail.
Why Spurs? The lilywhite shirt. North London. The 81 and 82 Cup finals. Ricky Villa’s beard. The Shelf. Hoddle with shirt tucked out. Blanchflower and Mackay. Chas’n’Dave. The spurs on the cockerel. The Park Lane. The swagger and the swashbuckle.
Why not Arsenal? Because I have no associations with south London.
BIRTH. SPURS. DEATH. Right? I have that tattooed on my dick.
Favourite player? BAE currently. Paul Gascoigne in my life-time.
Two in the goo, one in the poo? If there’s nothing decent on the telly, yeah, why not. It beats Angry Birds.