Milton Canes

Normally the inevitability of a situation lessens the pain. You know what’s going to happen therefore when it does happen you are prepared for it. You understood that the good looking girl in the ripped jeans and tight t-shirt would turn you down 15 years ago, but you still went for it. The inevitability was as comforting as the warm soft bosom of the large back up girl who had been giving you the eye. It’s the same feeling that softens the blow of Wenger selling another slither of his soul to the devil to finish above Spurs.

However today, right now inevitability isn’t a soft enveloping embrace. It hurts. Spurs moving to Milton Keynes has loomed over us for quite some time. You knew it, I knew it, we all knew it, but we all hoped it wouldn’t happen. Just like the younger me with the bad indie dress-sense, we sucked it up and hoped the light would touch us and gift us something magical. Life though very rarely grants us those moments of luck.

With no luck and no seemingly viable alternative available here we are, disappointed and depressed by the news we hoped wouldn’t come, being leaked to us bit by bit. Somewhere at Spurs HQ in a MK action group brainstorm someone must have said:

“Let’s give it to them piecemeal. Easily digested.”

So centimetre by centimetre Spurs have given it to us. They have been romantic and offered us some lube, but let’s not get it wrong, their intention no matter how slow or how gentle they whisper the news into our ears as they hold us down, remains the same. They want what they want and they are going to get it, we can try and wriggle away from their clutches, shout and moan but it wont stop the thrusting.

[linequote]There will be marching bands, Chirpy parachuted in, 3D printouts of the Turfies and Newsletters/SpursShop discounts raining from the sky like a plague of locusts[/linequote]

The most depressing thought about this situation being imposed upon us after the deed has been done, is the fact that they will roll over, snuggle up next to us and present us with a sparkling new stadium.

“Look how good you have been, here’s your reward. You earned it, now go and enjoy it.”

The new gift will take one, perhaps even two seasons to be delivered, then with a gentle pat on our backsides we will be told to feel happy via every single device at their disposal. Can you imagine the coverage?

Look at the meal they made of a preseason tour in America, picture the scenes at Spurs HQ right now. The marketing unit must be working overtime bouncing off the walls like an ADHD teen slap bang in the middle of puberty growth spurt who has been injected with neat Red Bull. There will be marching bands, Chirpy parachuted in, 3D printouts of the Turfies and Newsletters/SpursShop discounts raining from the sky like a plague of locusts. Daniel Levy will stride into the stadium chiselling the new rules into two stone tablets before decreeing that he will part red sea, as soon as the 35k people waiting for season tickets part with their cash.

All we need to see this happen is to go to Milton Keynes. I have been dreaming of a new stadium for a long time, in one move Spurs have already tainted that dream.

Personally I have nothing against the Milton Keynes. I have spent some time there and it’s a rather unremarkable place. I know people who hail from there and live there, they are all well rounded and decent people. The issue isn’t so much the location, it’s what the club that resides in MK stands for.

Going toe to toe with Modern Football isn’t really my forte. I attempt to do my bit, but there’re others who are better at it, but MK Dons is enough to rile me, simply because of they they barstardised a football club. I have never had any affection for the original Wimbledon, but what happened to them is criminal. This isn’t an attempt at shifting the club a bit further east and out of a borough, its taking a team to a new city/town in a totally different part of the country.

[centrequote]I have never had any affection for the original Wimbledon, but what happened to them is criminal[/centrequote]

Money talks in every matter inside and out of football, but moving a club to a new city/town where there is a football club vacuum is even a bit too obvious for me to swallow. It’s the sheer audacity of it. There wasn’t an attempt to discover that a founding father of Wimbledon was actually born near where MK was built, or a discovery of 40k supporters group in the area, it was a purely financial move, without any attempt to disguise it.

They moved for money. No other reason, no excuses given, these are the types of people Levy is preparing to jump into bed with.

As a spurs fan I cant help but think:

“This is Tottenham Hotspur, an institution. There has to be laws to stay this kind of money driven madness.”

It looks like there isn’t.

Personally Wembley was the option I clung to. However as time has passed the likelihood of Spurs using the national stadium has diminished. The price, local council rules and 40K Spurs fans rattling a 90k all-seater stadium put paid to that possibility. Other options were Brighton and Reading, both away from London, but two options that wouldn’t leave that a bad taste. However in all the proposals bouncing around Twitterland and forums, one was discussed but often skipped over far too quickly: Arsenal.

Is the thought of ground sharing for a year with the blueprint for the current MK Dons that bad? In Italy hated rivals have grown up sharing stadiums, for one year could we abide walking into that emotionless void in order to avoid a trek up the M1?

Tottenham has been a part of my life longer than my girlfriend and 80% of my friends, giving it up which is what I will do whilst we are on tour in MK, isn’t something that I really want to do. Moving to Arsenal keeps us in the city, keeps us going to games and perhaps in the in the long run it would be a beneficial experience, get close to your enemy, know your enemy and perhaps show them what its like to get some passion running through the stands.

Then there is the fantasy. Imagine beating them twice in one season at their ground or even winning something whilst there. Picture the glorious meltdown, the songs we could steal from other clubs and change a few words to wind them up.

Regardless though, staying in London, even if its not north is preferable to moving away.

However, if it not Arsenal surely someone else will take us?

[linequote]However in all the proposals bouncing around Twitterland and forums, one was discussed but often skipped over far too quickly: Arsenal[/linequote]

Chelsea (good God), Crystal Palace, Fulham (great day out) and West Ham. There are enough stadiums in London that can be modified to hold football. In Mill Hill, Copthall Stadium, venue of my fantastic 6th place finish in the Italian Language School Olympic 800m trials, has recently been converted to host the Saracens and holds 10k fans. Surely something on a bigger scale can be organised for Spurs? A temporary stadium, a temporary home, even indoors at the O2 Arena is preferable to MK.

However it comes down to money and once again here we are throwing solutions in the air with no logistics or knowledge, other than the club will do what the club wants. In a fantasy world, where we can all stand safely and sing without worries at football, perhaps the club would take us into account, but we live in the real world, where little people with big ethical ideas don’t matter. We either lay on our fronts and take the pain for the reward of a new stadium, or we walk away from the club and a large part of what makes us who we are.

Spurs have us were they want us, but they wont have me in Milton Keynes.