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Why do we do it to ourselves?

3 min read
by Matt Niner
Matt Niner tells us why Spurs are worth it, every single time. Amen.

“Why do you do it to yourself?” That’s what she said. My wonderful wife looked bemused as I sat in my arm chair desperately trying to fight through the pixelated buffering of a truly shocking stream, simultaneously refreshing my Twitter #THFC topic search to get the quickest updates I could. In addition I was refreshing The Fighting Cock match chat thread and swearing profusely. In that single 90-minute burst I created more derogatory phrases for Jack Wilshere than I thought possible. Never let anyone say that men can’t multitask. Let’s be clear; I was on one.

NielsenL_468x316As the final whistle tweets came pouring in I felt a huge amount of relief but as my heart rate started to relax I considered the words my wife had said and wondered.

“Why do we do it to ourselves?”

I’ve been a Spurs fan for as long as I remember and the club is an enormous part of my family’s history. Nan and Granddad married across the road – you can see the Lane in their pictures – and various others family members being either season ticket holders or avid fans, my cousin even an employee helping out in the kitchens on match day for a time.

Unfortunately my primary school was very Arsenal fan heavy and let’s be honest we were Pony both in kit at performance for much of the late 90’s. It was a rough time only punctuated for me by the glorious image of Allan Nielsen gliding through the air to win us the Worthington Cup. An act that caused my whole family – about 10 of us watching – to nearly demolish our living room with a flood of flying crisps, soft drinks and beer as we all jumped up.

Spurs for me and I’m sure most of us, has never just been about football. It’s about belonging and fellowship, a point of conversation with strangers and a source of unexpected bonding, for example with some random fans on our honeymoon as we all watched the QPR demolition a few months back on the beach in Mexico. Despite only having been to a handful of games in my 26 years due to the damn expense of it – though I’m finally in a place to start going more – I’ve felt the trials and tribulations of being a Lilywhite so acutely it in some ways has defined my life. Being able to deal with defeat and still remain optimistic is nothing if not an essential life skill.

[linequote]We don’t choose our family and most of us didn’t choose Spurs, it is simply a part of us, and our heritage going back generations[/linequote]

So many memories I have are inextricably linked with Spurs that it’s become part of the story of my life. From Mum and Dad buying me that first shirt in Enfield town and remembering how cold the Nylon felt as they made me put it on outside bloody shop to my last conversation with my dad before he passed away, telling him that we’d just signed Nacer Chadli and listening to him tell me he thought AVB wouldn’t last the season but that the “Southampton bloke” might be a good shout in the future.

Spurs are frustrating; Spurs are confusing and provide me with a sense of crippling sense of disappointment that sometimes I suppose it would be easy to ask why I haven’t upped sticks and left the Lilywhite fold. After all if I was in such a toxic relationship with a person I certainly couldn’t have taken it for so long. Except that it’s not a toxic relationship.

That’s why we do it.

We don’t choose our family and most of us didn’t choose Spurs, it is simply a part of us, and our heritage going back generations. Isn’t that just the most incredibly awe inspiring thing to think about. When I’m in the Paxton I’m in the same place my dad was at my age and my granddad and even older generations I never got to meet. Just like a family we don’t get to just keep the best bits, we have to have the hard times to appreciate even more so the brilliant times – and there will be brilliant times.

Spurs aren’t a club, its family. It’s as simple as that.

That’s why we do it. That ought to keep the wife quiet!

All views and opinions expressed in this article are the views and opinions of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of The Fighting Cock. We offer a platform for fans to commit their views to text and voice their thoughts. Football is a passionate game and as long as the views stay within the parameters of what is acceptable, we encourage people to write, get involved and share their thoughts on the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.

Matt Niner

7 Comments

  1. tOTTENHAM lEE
    29/09/2014 @ 2:01 pm

    lovely!! XX

  2. SP
    29/09/2014 @ 2:15 pm

    I coined ‘Jerk Vileshire’…I’m very proud of it :)

  3. al granville
    29/09/2014 @ 2:15 pm

    Matt, I’m even older than you. My very first game was against Southampton in the old 2nd division and we won 4-0 (a similar score this weekend would be fine) on our way to the 2nd division title and the 1st division. Opening day of the new season we lost 1-4 to Blackpool but went on to win the title. My brother and I drove our mother mad on match days with our constant badgering about what time lunch would be ready-bangers and mash always, good match day fare. Then to the ground hours early but we just had to be there. My idol was Ted Ditchburn, a fabulous goalie, then after the match we’d stand outside to watch the players-those fabled beings-leave the ground-so they were human after all and not mythical gods. Even now in my mid seventies I’m a bag of nerves when Spurs play. Why do we do it? Beats me.

    • bazza
      29/09/2014 @ 3:13 pm

      Totally agree with Matts spread, and I can totally agree with your comments Al Granville. I too am an old veteran spurs fan from your era, and big Ted was a hero of mine as well. You have one year advantage on me I only started going 50/51 but what a start immediate champs!!! I was smitten, I discovered true love at an early age!!!!! Over the years spurs teams thrilled me, killed me or chilled me and the crowds were brill regardless, yes we are a family not just supporters and always will be. One lasting memory I have was being stationed out the Far East in 1967, ear glued to the ships tannoy listening to the BBC overseas service commentary fading in and out on the spurs Chelsea cup final. The radio went silent except for static just before the end, I had been the only spurs fan trying to listen along with my shipmates laughing at my antics and swearing, it was a good half hour before I finally found out we had won 2-1. There is a lot to be said for the internet now. But just like being a spurs fan, I would,nt have changed a thing COYS. ‘

  4. FatherJack
    29/09/2014 @ 3:27 pm

    Great piece, it’s nice to see a few like minded people who know it’s not about the glory but just belonging to something and I have been proud to be a Spurs supporter since the 80s (sorry just a baby lol) and have never regretted it or thought about changing teams. It’s always been ups and downs, buying bad players, seeing great ones play, seeing them move on and mostly sacking managers. Problem with to many supporters today they have to have everything, believe the hype Sky Sports thrust down our throats, have to have a title challenging team, have to have Champions League football. There are plenty of oldies who are forgotten the years and believe the hype themselves. I would love for Tottenham to have all this but I’ve rarely experienced it so not going to get upset when we don’t get it. With social media and the ineternet, the mocking and laughter are a lot louder than they used to be and people can’t handle it but win the treble every season and the mocking and laughter is still there. We need to judge Poch in years not months, go back to the metality of a few years ago when we could only look on in envy of a top 4 finish as we battled to be in the top half of the table. Let poch bring the players he wants over seasons and get rid of the ones he doesn’t. Accept 6th place or roundabout then the disappointment won’t hurt as much. Ignore the islington Gypsy fans and hopefully Poch will build a top 4 team and a title challenging team. As for the Levy Out brigade, it still makes me speechless, but I’ve said enough on the subject. To the best team in the world COYS.

  5. dizzydog
    29/09/2014 @ 5:39 pm

    Great read and brought back a memory that seems an age ago I also watched the QPR game in mexico and the west Spam match and the European game, 3 WINS it seems we play better in Mexico may have to see if she will let me go back for a few months to help the club out COYS

  6. Nanty
    01/10/2014 @ 11:19 am

    Great article.

    Football’s being destroyed by Sky et al but also by the over-analysing hipsters, pundits and general bollock-talkers.

    For me and many others, Tottenham Hotspur is about identity, connection with an area through family and a sense of belonging.

    I’m gutted when we lose but I never started supported them because we won!

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