Whether you're born in north London or the mean streets of Brooklyn, New York if you're Tottenham, you're Tottenham. Aaron Wolfe explains in a spine-tingling glorious fashion...
Till I die…
This past Christmas and New Years I traveled with my family and a large group of friends to a cabin in Upstate New York. We drank, we ate, we were merry, there was hiking, singing, laughing, games, and good fun all around.
But there was one thing that was a steady topic of conversation: the bewilderment that all of them felt by my need to wake up at 8AM to watch the Football on TV.
Over and over again I was asked “why football?” and “why Tottenham.” It’s a nearly impossible question to answer when you are an American being asked by other Americans that, like you, have all been raised on Baseball and the ‘other’ Football. Never mind the ‘Tottenham Question’ which for me has to include a treatise on what it means to be a ‘Jewish Team’ and how I don’t care about that, but how there is this bar that used to be around the corner from my house which was the official New York Spurs supporters bar, and how I was dragged there against my will, and something about marauding style, and Modric, Bale, Adebayor, Redknapp, etc, etc…
Usually their eyes glaze over around the eighth minute of explanation and I get to go back to punching the couch in disgust as we give the ball away, or yet another attack fizzles out.
[authquoteleft text=”At the half I had stumbled, shell-shocked, into the street to stand with the smokers[/linequote]
But in truth, there is a much simpler reason why I’m Tottenham: that horrible game at the Emirates a few years ago. You know the one: 2-2 at the half, and then 3-2, and then 4, and then 5-2 as the whistle blew.
At the half I had stumbled, shell-shocked, into the street to stand with the smokers (I’d long quit but I still feel some sort of solidarity with the rest of my lung-destroying comrades). Next door to the Spurs Bar is an Arsenal Pub, as though it was the perfect scale recreation of North London in sleepy Brooklyn.
A single lone gooner stood outside smoking, while dozens poured out of the Spurs bar. He grinned an evil grin, then mumbled something about “there’s only one team in London” and then nervously went back inside the minute he saw the hate and fury on our faces. I thought then, as I do now, about the passion we felt, all 300 of us, packed into that bar craning our necks to see the game on screens that were way too small and way too old to handle the number of us. I thought then, as I do now, how the Arsenal bar was practically empty despite the shiny new HD screens that lined the wall behind the booze. I pictured then, as I do now, that that is how it is in North London — a place I’ve never been but a place I spend my weekends dwelling in, living as though on GMT despite being so many miles away.
As I watched our team turn glory into pain at the end of that game, the crowd began to sing. An arm was thrown around my shoulder “I’m Tottenham til I die, I’m Tottenham til I die, I know I am, I’m sure I am…”
I’ll admit, now, that my eyes teared up. And when the song changed to “Tottenham when I’m dead…” I knew it was true. I had no choice in the matter, the baptism by fire had been performed and there was no turning back.
[linequote]It is our losses that drape us in glory. It is our heartbreaks that bind us and keep us coming back, hoping, dreaming, of redemption.[/linequote]
In this time of great uncertainty at the Lane, in this time of upheaval and disappointment dressed in fading hope and desperate decision making, I think back to that game and smile. It is our losses that drape us in glory. It is our heartbreaks that bind us and keep us coming back, hoping, dreaming, of redemption. I was a fan before that loss, but I was Tottenham following it.
I write this now, for one simple reason:
We are midway through the season. We have booed, we have moaned, we have celebrated AVB and mourned him, we have winced at Sherwood, and ridiculed Adebayor, we have turned upon each other and eaten our shoes in protest of how far we have to walk.
Every day I wake up and count the days until Saturday or Sunday. Every day I think about the day that my 9 month old son will be old enough to finally understand that a team from North London has become his birthright. Every game that I tune into I swell with pride when I hear all of you sing, and all of you cheer and think about the day that I’ll join you all, hoarse and tired winning or losing singing our glorious songs.
So keep the faith Tottenham, if only because somewhere across the ocean we’re relying on you.
[author name=”Aaron Wolfe” avatar=”https://www.thefightingcock.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Screen-Shot-2014-01-09-at-18.16.32.png” bio=”Aaron Wolfe is a screenwriter, storyteller, film editor, and proud new dad from Brooklyn, NY.” twitter=”aaronwolfe[/linequote]
All views and opinions expressed in this article are the views and opinions of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of The Fighting Cock. We offer a platform for fans to commit their views to text and voice their thoughts. Football is a passionate game and as long as the views stay within the parameters of what is acceptable, we encourage people to write, get involved and share their thoughts on the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.
40 Comments
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09/01/2014 @ 6:39 pm
Nice one Aaron, you’re true Yiddo. Hairs raised on the back of my arms and neck reading your piece. You be sure to tell us ALL when you finally make it to the Lane and I’m sure that many will queue in the Bill Nic, Brickies or Bell & Hare to buy you a pint before the game! COYS
09/01/2014 @ 11:41 pm
Thanks! Glade you liked it. Definitely gonna make it over and can’t wait to have a pint with you lot.
09/01/2014 @ 6:54 pm
Fantastic article Aaron, makes me proud to be a Spurs supporter. COYS.
09/01/2014 @ 7:08 pm
Wow, so well worded, you’ve described life as a Spurs fan perfectly. COYS TTID!
09/01/2014 @ 7:08 pm
Well done Aaron well written piece COYS
09/01/2014 @ 7:15 pm
Nice article, I feel the same sentiment as a follow America that loves his spurs, COYS!
09/01/2014 @ 7:23 pm
For 52 years I have wondered why I keep coming back for more. Now I know. Brill article
09/01/2014 @ 7:25 pm
Brought a lump to my throat COYS TTID
Glad to have you on the other side of the pond if you want to join a great facebook group this one is awesome
https://www.facebook.com/?sk=nf#!/groups/thfcaef2013/
09/01/2014 @ 7:34 pm
Aaron…I am another States-side Spurs supporter, although my story goes back to when I was a 12 year-old boy, living in civil-war ravaged Beirut, Lebanon. I happened upon a football game on TV. It just so happened to be the FA Cup Final in 1981 between Spurs and Man City, in which we won 3-2 in the replay game. I was glued to the TV in that game, seeing the likes of Ricky Villa and Ossie Ardiles weave and bob and play intricate passes, Glen Hoodle’s passing vision and trickery, the zippy and attacking style of Garth Crooks, Steve Archibald’s ginger hair and the confidence-inspiring leadership of Steve Perryman. From that day on, I bought every copy of Shoot and Match (two British football publications at the time) that had reviews of the weekly games with player ratings from each game. I had Lillywhite pictures/cutouts from those magazines plastered all over the walls of my room. Fast forward 5 years, when I came to the US as a Freshman in college, and I was completely separated from the beautiful game (could not find the magazines and forget about seeing the games on TV). It wasn’t until 2005 that Fox Soccer Sport started to televise the EPL games that all of a sudden I was able to reconnect with Spurs and the EPL, and I have been relishing the rise and fall of our team that you so elegantly encapsulated in your blog above, witnessing Martin Jol take us to 5th in EPL a few times, his sacking, the ill-fated reign of Juande Ramos, the hiring of ‘Arry and seeing Bale grow into the player he became in front of our eyes, culminating in the promise of our Wenger/our Fergie coming to take Spurs to the next level in AVB, to see it all crumble before our eyes, and having to press the reset button and to climb on the “let’s hope” train that this season has turned into. I love the drama. It is the soap opera of life encapsulated perfectly on a pitch with 11 men wearing the gleaming white shirt of our beloved Spurs fighting on with that look that says: “To Dare Is To Do.”
I have yet to make it to the Lane but I will make my pilgrimage before (if :-)) the new stadium comes to be, so that I may sing along with our fellow Lillywhites at the Lane and may it be on a triumphant day against the Woolwich scum, so that I may forever capture that moment in my head and in my heart.
COYS!
09/01/2014 @ 11:46 pm
Well said! And what a wonderful story about Beirut! Thanks for sharing that. I’d love to hear more! I love knowing that despite the blinding prevalence of Arsenal, Utd, and Barca kits all over the states, there’s still a hardcore of us from all these wonderfully different backgrounds.
09/01/2014 @ 7:39 pm
Great article Aaron, get you’re self down to the Lane we could do with more fans like you. I live in Birmingham UK and my mates ask the same question why Spurs! Best decision ever it’s like a roller coaster ride!
09/01/2014 @ 7:44 pm
Nice read and something all us Yiddos can relate to (can I still say Yiddo?)
You remind me of this dude I worked with in Aussie (I’m Irish)… it was my first day at work and 14 new recruits sat around a table introducing ourselves, all of us told we had to say 3 things about us.. it went round the table with the G’days I’m Aussie Bob and I love bbq’s, cricket & AFL (insert W & U to make AwFuL) then the dude beside me gets his turn, stands up and with a thick Aussie accent says I’m Con, I love food, real football and Tottenham :-) It got to me and first thing I said was I’m a Tottenham fan too, can’t remember what my other 2 things were – meself and Con were too busy talking important things about our beloved Spurs. He knew everything, he bled blue & white – never been to see us but his passion was fcuking brilliant. As fans we know our stuff, we know the game and know how it should be played… beautifully. One of these days I hope for all us fans the World over we will be in unison in happiness when we get into that top 4… it’s not too far away, maybe even this season if we all get behind Sherwood and the team and stop our bickering… COYS TTID
09/01/2014 @ 11:48 pm
Couldn’t agree more! A bit of European Glory would do good for all our hearts. What I wouldn’t give to be at a CL final….
09/01/2014 @ 7:44 pm
Cheers from a Spurs supporter in Florida! Great piece. I’m going to share with people (my wife) who struggle to understand my Tottenham obsession.
09/01/2014 @ 7:47 pm
A great article and it shows that being Spurs is a global affliction ! Last weekend I was right at the edge of the Spurs end and I could see the squint eyed, ginger headed scum up close…. a very painful afternoon. Can’t wait for Saturday back in the Park Lane. Keep believing Aaron !
09/01/2014 @ 8:02 pm
Nice piece.
09/01/2014 @ 8:04 pm
What a great piece ! I was lucky enough to visit in Aug last year and it was one of the highlights of my trip ! great food brilliant company and I wore my NYC SPURS t shirt to The Lane in November .. TTID COYS xx
09/01/2014 @ 8:08 pm
Aaron – whenever you make it to the home of football you can take my season ticket for the game . . . would be a pleasure to buy you a pint. Great article.
09/01/2014 @ 11:50 pm
Wow! Thanks for the offer. Incredibly kind of you! Hopefully I can manage a ticket.
09/01/2014 @ 8:24 pm
I was born in Tottenham went to school in white hart lane and have had a season ticket for well over 20 years, no matter where you live, watch or listen to our great clubs games we’re all the same, well said my son, coys
09/01/2014 @ 9:02 pm
WIU TTWD WIN LOSE OR DRAW worded perfectly
09/01/2014 @ 9:10 pm
Beautifully put Aaron. My Wife often asks me why put yourself though it, why not support a team like City or Chelsea. And my reply is simple, I would rather die because were would the fun be in that? It’s the up’s and downs, the shock wins, the embarrassing defeats, the constant dramas that unfold EVERY season, the optimism that fades to frustration, the good(Bale), the bad(take your pick) and the ugly(Arry), the big nights against both of the Milan teams in the CL it’s what being a Spurs man is all about.
I live in Northern Ireland and finally made into WHL for the Liverpool match( not the best of choices), but despite the result the fans, stadium and once again more drama lamented my love for the Lily Whites. Already planning another trip over before the end of the season.
COYS !!!
09/01/2014 @ 9:11 pm
Great article Aaron. I saw a lot of myself in your article. Born and bred in Yorkshire my dad was from ilford and grandparents still lived down there so after taking a liking to the likes of hoddle ardiles and villa in 81 at the age of 6 my dad decided he’d find out where spurs trained so we went down to the training ground and this in the days when you actually stood by the side of the pitch and watched as if a Sunday league game and could touch my heroes. I even had my picture taken with hoddle ardiles crooks Archibald perryMan Clemence falco. They were brilliant, my mum even wrote to the club with a picture of me and Stevie perry man and I got the picture back signed by Stevie wishing me a happy birthday and a letter signed by mr birkinshaw thanking me for my support of the club. I have been in love with the club ever since and been a member for as long as I can remember. Been to some of the worst performances in living memory. Notts county, Grimsby Bolton, Middlesbrough and sung my heart out. Not been for a few years because of personal reasons but I will be back as soon as I can at the theatre of not good for your health!! Yorkshire and proud! Tottenham till I die
09/01/2014 @ 11:24 pm
Andy…that was the game that converted me into a Spurs fan at age 12 :-) as I recount above in my entry! Great game, great team, great players! TTID COYS!
09/01/2014 @ 9:27 pm
I’ve been a Spurs supporter for over 60 years and keep asking myself why,then you read articles like that and you know why.Its also nice to know there are other fans out there suffering,glorying and hoping ,but thats what makes Spurs I suppose,born in Enfield,now living about a 1000 miles from the lane but still a Lillywhite.COYS
09/01/2014 @ 10:12 pm
Fantastic. I have been struggling through the hatred and bile that’s been written in recent weeks by ‘those who shan’t be named’ and, unfortunately, by our lot too, thinking: do I still love this game? Then I read this. You have encapsulated what it means to be a football fan (particularly Tottenham!) and for this you should be proud. I sincerely hope you get to the Lane soon… You won’t be disappointed.
09/01/2014 @ 10:17 pm
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Thank you.
09/01/2014 @ 11:20 pm
Great article Aaron
In a nutshell
God bless
Coys!
10/01/2014 @ 12:21 am
Long time Spurs fan (30+ yrs) living in Shanghai. Still play football every Sunday & I’m the only Spurs fan surrounded by fans of Arsenal (7), ManU (4), Liverpool (4). Never try to explain to others my love for Spurs because it came without any reason (actually after reading the biography of Martin Chivers by accident). Took my wife to London 3(?) yrs ago mainly to the Lane when we beat Liverpool 2-1. This article has inspired me again.
Hello to Tengboon (never met) who I believe also lives in SH.
Happy Chinese New Year on 31/Jan.
10/01/2014 @ 3:14 am
Great Article! I’m a Spurs fan from Baton Rouge and now in Houston. Your article is spot on! Take my advice and go to WHL. I went for my 40th birthday for the NLD last March. It will always be one of my best memories and I plan to go back several times! COYS
10/01/2014 @ 12:55 pm
Planing on it! Starting to look like I may try to make it over this Spring.
12/01/2014 @ 1:27 pm
Your article brought back a lot of Spurs memories. I´ve been an avid fan for some 50- odd years (since before they won the European Cup in 1963) and still follow the lillywhites – for better for worse. And now with an added incentive: my fellow countryman, Christian Eriksen, is currently in the team (fine goal against Crystal Palace yesterday in a so-so game)! In the seventies I taught tenth graders in a Copenhagen school (Phys. ed.) and had the privilege to visit the Lane with 50 of my Danish pupils (Steve Perryman, Spurs captain at the time, showed us around the grounds) and attending the Spurs vs. Liverpool game the following Saturday. What a thrill. Those were the days of Hoddle, Jennings, Perryman et al. In later years I´ve seen Spurs in a couple of local derbies – Stamford Bridge and the old Highbury come to mind – but nothing compares to the boisterus yet intimate atmosphere that embraces you at White Hart Lane. The next best thing is watching the boys on TV. Spurs are featured almost every week-end here in Denmark and the European League games are shown as well. So, this combined with the appearance of Eriksen in the no. 23 shirt has dramatically enhanced the Spurs following in Denmark. Hopefully glory days are ahead for the team. Well, I´ll stop rambling now. Just this: Thanks for your heart-felt words, Aaron… and COYS! John L.
13/01/2014 @ 3:34 am
Thanks, John.
Perryman showing you around the ground is absolutely incredible! So glad you liked it, and felt the passion!
Aaron
12/01/2014 @ 2:02 pm
Aaron this article is pure football poetry, you can taste the love for Tottenham in your writing. It’s why West Ham, Chelsea, and the Arse all hate us the most. Our passion is insurmountable, we are the biggest club in London without doubt. We have attitude even in defeat, they can’t fathom it out. We are Tottenham, We are the Spurs.
13/01/2014 @ 3:35 am
Cheers Keith,
Football poetry is definitely what I’m aspiring to. Glad you liked the article and COYS!
13/01/2014 @ 1:13 pm
Aaron, you are true Spurs fan, I was asked by my sons why I made them spurs fans, I told them I was getting them ready for married life.
Ups and downs all the time,wake up in the morning and never shocked or surprised at what may have happened overnight at the lane, our
Support is huge when you consider we win very little, and always outnumber any team when we get to Wembley,
We love Spurs so much it really hurts sometimes,I cant explain it, I know a few gooners and they admit we are more passionate and should calm down a little.You are a top fella.coys
13/01/2014 @ 2:46 pm
Thanks Andrew. There’s something about being in a tribe, I guess… Collective suffering = collective strength perhaps?
14/01/2014 @ 11:27 pm
Great article and congratulations on being a new father!
15/01/2014 @ 9:24 pm
Great reading, almost make my eyes wet. I grew up and live in Norway and we have seen English football on Saturdays since late 60s. My passion started in 1971 or 73 not quite sure. Watching my first game live in 1977 on a summer pre season tour here in Norway. The last 10 years bean travel over to WHL 3, 4,5 times pr season. It’s magical, you all must try to get over sometime.
22/01/2014 @ 1:53 am
Great article! As a Spurs supporter living in Iowa I too count the days until Saturday just so I can see and hear others who also love this team. COYS!