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It’s Not Rocket Science, Andre

4 min read
by The Fighting Cock
Taking the long cold walk back across Bruce Park at the unusual & baffling early hour on a Sunday afternoon in my customary (but thankfully infrequent) post loss silence, I began to wonder what would I do differently if I wasn’t a non-playing, middle aged, opinionated know nothing football fan? Quite a lot it appeared […]

Taking the long cold walk back across Bruce Park at the unusual & baffling early hour on a Sunday afternoon in my customary (but thankfully infrequent) post loss silence, I began to wonder what would I do differently if I wasn’t a non-playing, middle aged, opinionated know nothing football fan? Quite a lot it appeared

[​IMG]I was brought up to believe that “football’s a very simple game” – I think it still is. The creeping doubt is that we have a manager determined to prove it isn’t.

We have seen the tough and demanding task to not only trade in and out £100m worth of talent, but also to integrate them into a system that is wounded by the loss of the Boyo Wonder.

We’ve bought remarkably well I’m repeatedly told and of course I agree. We’ve managed to attract some stellar talent that should excite even the most curmudgeonly of Spurs fan. We’re grinding out results that before Sunday’s match saw us sitting relatively pretty with a very non Spurs defensive record. But why is it so damn dull so often?

The AVB doctrine seems to be possession, possession, possession. You could say it’s becoming an obsession. One that too often is aimless, fruitless and causes the opposition no pain – it’s also increasingly easy to nullify as we’ve seen from the ragtag jokers from the East and Sunday’s worthy but dull barcodes.

We used to jokingly call Vinny Samways, Vinny Sideways – but he’d struggle to make the cut in the AVB crab outfit of today. The objective seems to be to overwhelm, strangle, subdue and then with scalpel poised and drawn, execute the other team with a single thrust.

There’s an aversion to width with our achingly hip trend for inverted wingers. All it does at WHL is drive two more players into a stagnant midfield where they all end up knee deep in tar, unable or unwilling to stretch the defence and find any penetration.

The repeated choice of two sitters in midfield is another sign of a cautious approach of limited courage and ambition. It’s all a bit too scientific, too deliberate, and too technical. As a consequence, for it to succeed, every single component needs to be exact. It’s football as trigonometry and it pays off way too infrequently. There’s an absence of free spirited imagination, creation or daring in our play, almost as if it’s being coached out, which is a grave concern.

If I was ever blessed with the opportunity to pass on some advice to AVB, this is what I would say:

  • Beg, borrow, steal or recall a genuine left back. The best at our club is ludicrously on loan in Shepherd’s Bush whilst we make do & mend. Daft
  • Choose a CB partnership & stick with it. For me, it’s Vlad Chiriches and Jan Vertonghen – two classy composed, fast, elegant ball players.
  • Send Brad Friedel out to grass & blood or buy an adequate like for like sweeper keeper so that when Hugo Lloris is rested or knocked out, the sight of Brad doesn’t cause collective panic attacks in the back four.
  • Give Kyle Walker a bloody good shake and reiterate the need for positional awareness for 90+minutes every game
  • Have a look at a DVD of the devastation Aaron Lennon has caused for several years against the best defenders in the PL. Then select him to play. Often. His partnership with Walker is worth revisiting
  • One sitting midfielder is ample (particularly at home). He’s an essential starter & his selection usually permits a more ambitious game from Paulinho
  • Erik Lamela must start games – he’s unlikely to get good enough to play every week sat on his arse.
  • Draw a line under Project Andros – he’s simply not good enough & maybe never will be. The outrageous hype is exactly that. He lacks pace, the ability to beat a man & has a dreadful addiction to (wasteful) shooting. Lennon & Lamela are both significant upgrades
  • Make full use of a lethal poacher but actually giving him something to feast on – the continued starving of crosses or incisive passes for Roberto Soldado is unacceptable. Again we need width and  the deployment of talent that can deliver.

The immense foundations AVB has laid are to be saluted and applauded. We are stronger and more resolute than at any time I can recall. We don’t ship many goals or lose many games. We finally have something approaching a winning mentality, desire and determination to grind out points. It’s no time for panic or knee jerk reactions

We just need to add some gloss, take off the constraints, open up the pitch, embrace the power of pace and accept that it’s football, not maths.

[author name=”Paul Johnson” avatar=”https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000678546103/5fb5e5187f53be1fcc4b4a90076b7042.jpeg” twitter=”SniersMoregut” website=”[/linequote]

All views and opinions expressed in this article are the views and opinions of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of The Fighting Cock. We offer a platform for fans to commit their views to text and voice their thoughts. Football is a passionate game and as long as the views stay within the parameters of what is acceptable, we encourage people to write, get involved and share their thoughts on the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.

37 Comments

  1. WES ROBINSON
    11/11/2013 @ 7:30 pm

    Couldnt agree more

  2. stuart senior
    11/11/2013 @ 7:38 pm

    as a fan for 60 yrs how many times has the opposing goalkeeper played out of this world if i had a pound each time i would be rich remember the stoke game over 20 shots on goal compared to stokes one the score 1 0 to stoke

  3. Chris B Waters
    11/11/2013 @ 7:44 pm

    I almost miss Harry’s ‘just run about’ tactics ..plus his obvious awe, like the rest of us, when watching Spurs’ fine footballers play the most attractive football in the PL (throughout season 2011/12, or up to early March at least, when everyone got bogged down in the ‘Harry for England’ quicksand). Talk about letting good players work certain things out for themselves. Now we’ve got the reverse .. a rigid AVB formation with no change, or change too late, even if it is patently not working or being quickly sussed by the opposition.

  4. Dr dribble I
    11/11/2013 @ 7:44 pm

    This is totally and utterly SPOT ON. The first article I’ve read in weeks that clearly and concisely spells out to AVB what he should do. And I think 99% of our fans would be happier if we stuck with the above and rid ourselves of the glaringly obvious tactics we employ.

    He knows it, we knows it. Now f@ckin well DO it.

  5. Gary Fox
    11/11/2013 @ 7:44 pm

    Pretty much agree with all except Lennon. He flatters to deceive…….count the number of goals actually created and goals scored. Not good enough. Good but not good enough. And I think we have to accept that Dawson is a wonderful bloke but again not quite good enough…..4th choice not 1st.

  6. Camel with the Hump
    11/11/2013 @ 7:45 pm

    If Spurs are 8/9 points away from 4th come January, AB no plan B will get the boot. Levy does not suffer fools gladly.

  7. Camel with the Hump
    11/11/2013 @ 7:46 pm

    Sorry, AV no plan B.

  8. simmo
    11/11/2013 @ 7:46 pm

    spot on mate. in every way. avb really missed the moment by not starting lamela on sunday after cracking it on thursday. soldado needs help,lennon on the right and lamela on the left will cause chaos.and they can swap just as lennon and bale did. finally avb consider this radical as it may be..play one holding midfielder against all but the best and play holtby and eriksen together..in a short time it will be very good indeed.

  9. Jimmy blue boy
    11/11/2013 @ 7:54 pm

    AVB has this ambition to be known as one of the best in the business. All top managers do have that ‘ stubborn ‘ trait, totally confident of what they are doing. Nothing wrong with both statements.
    No one who becomes a manager of a football club does not want to be remembered as a great manager. But most fail because they are not good enough in the ‘ brain ‘ dept. We need to wait till the end of the season to see whether AVB is the real deal or just some dreamer like so many managers before.

  10. Dr dribble I
    11/11/2013 @ 7:56 pm

    On current form we will finish mid table. We are the easiest to read side in the premiership. If AVB doesn’t stop inverting his wings soon he will find his own clipped.

  11. Whitehart Lad
    11/11/2013 @ 7:57 pm

    Agree with the article, unfortunately whilst it seem obvious to ,ake some changes, i.e start Lamela and Lennon, drop Eriksen and start Holtby, play Paulinho or Sandro in the holding role I just dont see AVB doing this and sticking with it. I really dont think AVB knows his best starting 11, I also agree with a comment made on 5 live that maybe the players are being “over coached” and AVB should trust his players and allow them some freedom and play to their strengths.

    All I do know is this problem needs addressing sooner or I may just start finding my support for AVB becoming somewhat thinning! But we also need to be paitent and hopefully things will come good. Mist teams have a bad patch and I’d rather have it early in the season and finish strong than fall at the last hurdle!!! Seems to work for the scum!!!

  12. Dr dribble I
    11/11/2013 @ 8:02 pm

    There’s a time and place for slow thinkers but it ain’t football. Watch how AVB answers the media & press. Just watch him next time he’s being interviewed. Slow, dull, monotonous, no flair, devoid of emotion. His eyes showing a man struggling to understand the obvious.

    He would be great managing a library.

  13. Davyid
    11/11/2013 @ 8:06 pm

    Can’t agree more with this article and what every ones said lamela should have started he needs to play regular in prem we saw Thursday what he can do he must have been on high going into Sundays what’s Avb do leave him on the bench all game siggys not a left winger we need Lennon back and start getting to the bye line and supplying the forwards also agree that holtby and eriksen can play together what a thought if it clicks in place COYS!

  14. ParkLane
    11/11/2013 @ 8:06 pm

    BAE is gone because he’s shit. Casual, disinterested and at fault for so many goals against while he played for us. It’s amazing what stupid hair and admitting the obvious that you’re in it for the money will make people forget. Where’s Lamela gonna play if we dispense with the inverted wingers? No 10, I can’t see it. We need Rose back to offer width as a wing back. We took a risk by not buying one in and it’s haunting us. You need 2 wing backs moving up together and we don’t have that. That’s where we’re missing the width from.

  15. We've never seen it so bad
    11/11/2013 @ 8:10 pm

    At last! My only criticism of the article is that it wasn’t written after each game from the opening one of the season (that’s the opening one of last season!!). Too many fans have defended All Very Boring because we picked up a lot of very lucky points (with scrappy boring performances and penalties or a Bale wonder strike) and couldn’t see it wouldn’t last. Talk about papering over the cracks. We are Tottenham Hotspur and this woeful brand of football has no place at WHL. AV no plan B (I like that!) is not a project in the making, this is his finished product. It will not improve. Levy will have paid him off by February and we can have our Tottenham back. Wake me up when there’s something worth watching please, zzzzzzzzzz

  16. Dr dribble I
    11/11/2013 @ 8:10 pm

    Lamela can play in his NATURAL position which earned him his recognition in the first place.

  17. The Old Man
    11/11/2013 @ 8:10 pm

    Agree with most of your stuff but feel Lennon is best on the bench with Townsend & Lamela,who we must blood on the field.AVB I am afraid has the Portugeuse failing of thinking that having the ball represents an achievement when the play is not progressing into dangerous positions often enough.
    Soldado rarely gets a decent ball but seems to think it’s not for him to wander about a bit more & as for bringing JD on on Sunday who in their right mind thought that would make a difference doubt if he touched it 3 times.

  18. Dr dribble I
    11/11/2013 @ 8:17 pm

    Chelsea wised up by Christmas about AVB. I think we’ve given him long enough. This week the team are now disgruntled, last week he blamed the fans, what’s he gonna say next time?
    Sorry, it was my fault? I doubt it.

  19. Bob
    11/11/2013 @ 8:17 pm

    AVB- I’ve had about enough of this possesion nonesense and mind numbing stats which AVB fanboys keep quoting as if our club is the latest bit of tech gadget. F-ing sort it out you ginger Cnut otherwise, we’ll sack you & get Klinsmen in!!

  20. HoxtonBoy
    11/11/2013 @ 8:44 pm

    I was watching Rooney for ManU after falling asleep during the Spurs game. Past his best but even so
    100% better than anyone we have got. I bet ManU won’t be below us again any time soon.
    AVB seems like a nice guy and defensively we are pretty solid but the football was light-years better under Harry. My gooner friend says that one super star is worth 10 ‘decent’ players and I think he may be right. We could end up 10th if we keep playing like this , there are at least 6 teams better than us at the moment. Anybody would fancy playing us. I shudder to think what City and Utd will do to us.

  21. Razspur
    11/11/2013 @ 8:58 pm

    I find myself in agreement for the most part but feel it will fall on deaf ears. SuperKrull, 16 saves means that on 16 occasions our players failed to put the ball out of reach of the keeper, the remainder of the time they shot off target. Our predictable and slow build up play has about as much tempo as “When the Spurs go marching in” only saving grace of the W/E was RVP finding the Onion Bag.

  22. Ike Durban
    11/11/2013 @ 8:58 pm

    Now please get AVB’s email address and ensure he gets it!

  23. BigH
    11/11/2013 @ 9:20 pm

    I am sorry but AVB again got the line up wrong today. Dembele has been poor all season bar a game or two, He simply is not good enough defensively as a midfielder and does nothing going forward. With erikson and siggi the team was far too lightweight and anyone putting in their foot was going to cause us no end of trouble. No surprise first goal came from indecision from Dembele and Paulinho and they won every 50/50 ball. Why the hell does AVB not realise Sandro is the main man for the holding role? 2nd half we were much better, won more tackles, moved the ball quicker, but had no luck. I would have got lamela on for erikson. We desperately need a benteke type forward to mix it up a bit and again we simply cannot play to soldado’s strengths. AVB needs to wake up and realise that some players are simply not performing and that in jan a striker like benteke is a priority

  24. steve
    11/11/2013 @ 9:45 pm

    Pretty good article apart from being unfair to Townsend. The fact is he has been our best player in at least 4 games this season so why are you writing him off?

    Whatever AVB said at half time, we need in the next match. Players were moving around more freely. It is the same as 1950’s – its called push and run rather than push and stand still.

    I think AVB has bought poorly. Capoue has looked good when he has played, but why have a Sandro clone when we don’t have a left sided forward (or at least nobody who wants to play there – tip for Lamela and Townsend). It seemed strange not playing Holtby or Lennon when they were both rested in midweek – if he was trying to fool Pardew, it didn’t work.

    At rhis moment in time we dont have a best team as very few players are in form – Sigg has been, but wasn’t in the game on Sunday.

    I think the best advice for ABV is to go with strong personalities at this difficult time. Having looked at Saturday stats , he has to stick with Eriksen. He has so much more vision than Holtby even if he is a luxury player. He also has to play Sandro and Kaboul. These 3 plus Lloris must be fixtures.

    As for front men…. we haven’t had one since the Berba- Keane duet. At leat we dont have Jenas and Zokora doing circles with their right foot! Life’s not so bad after all!

  25. Razspur
    11/11/2013 @ 10:01 pm

    Which Summer signing has impressed the most ?

    Paulinho (7) – We need to see more of his deft touches, expected to be a regular game changer.

    Capoue (8) – Looked pure class prior to injury in the NLD, will be immense for Tottenham.

    Chadli (6) – early days yet, out through injury, likely to be limited to Cup/Europa games once fit.

    Soldado (6) – Soldier Boy needs early crosses into the box but inverted wing play is killing this, no link up play through the centre is starving him of service.

    Chiriches (9) – settled in well to the pace of PL, should prove a springboard for turning defence into attack.

    Eriksen (6) – Bought as the playmaker #10, played well in his first 3 games but has been disappointing since.

    Lamela (7) – seems to be having trouble adapting to life in London, hopefully the goal against Sheriff and winning the penalty will boost his confidence. Clearly has the ability to be something special.

  26. YiddoPaul
    11/11/2013 @ 10:04 pm

    Agree with all you write apart from Lennon who has no crossing ability or end product and supply’s no service to the lone striker and this has been for years now, Townsend is our biggest threat from the wing but he is now getting marked by 2 or 3 players to stop him but the most alarming thing for me is the LACK OF BALANCE! no left back(right back filling in..Naughton), Sig on the left…..Townsend on the right, chopping and changing of personnel in different position’s, a formation that is flawed when we go a goal down! where was Lamela Saturday? it was obvious we needed balls into the box! change it AVB or you will be out! also what alarms me is the lack of goals coming from set plays, free kicks and corner’s…..they are non-existent! there is so much that is so wrong and it’s all simple stuff, people say be patient but our traditions are to play good attacking football which is the minimum but i think someone forgot to tell AVB that…..does AVB know what he is doing? i don’t know! slating the fans has heaped a lot of pressure on his own back and i can’t see him lasting unless he changes things……Soldado is not getting any service so when a rare chance does come he is so anxious as he probably knows he won’t get another! when he was at Valencia he had decent service from decent wingers putting quality balls into the box! when AVB goes i want Klinsmann next.
    COYS!

  27. Life is bad until AVB leaves...
    11/11/2013 @ 10:10 pm

    It’s very fair on Towsend who is all huff and puff but never blows the house down. What AVB said at half time was “sorry lads, I should have started Sandro”. Levy buys the players and has done so exceptionally well, Capoue is class (cover for Sandro for the time being) as are all the other new boys not including Chadli. AVB just needs to pick them. Yes, we do have a best X1: Lloris, Walker, Daws, Vlad, JV, Sandro, Paulino, Eriksen, Lennon, Lamela and Saldado.

  28. Cockerel
    11/11/2013 @ 10:32 pm

    Absolutely!! Great article,It’s all about WIDTH for f***s sake!Inverted winger shite should be an option NOT a DEFAULT setting!!!Stretch the defenses and try to cross for Soldado/Kane/and can we really ignore Ade?Playing one up front all the time he is the BEST bet.If AVB insists on
    leaving Ade out try Kane.Defoe and Soldado are NOT lone striker material in my opinion.
    Sort it AVB ,and PRONTO.WE will be be here long after you have gone!Apperently AVB has never been longer than one season at a club(apart from Porto?)

  29. JPG466
    11/11/2013 @ 11:33 pm

    The Dembele/Paulinho combo has never worked.. Paulinho is too weak as a holding and too sideways safety passing in midfield..the only good trait i see in him is his ghosting into the box frequently.
    The only way to get our record signing Lamela to get used to PL is to start him regularly..show him the confidence.

    From now on the following leaders’must always play.. Hugo Vlad Verts Kaboul Sandro Ericksen Lamela.. add Walker & Soldado and we’re left with 2 variables..i’d opt for Holtby and Dembele to add grit and strength respectively

  30. JPG466
    11/11/2013 @ 11:45 pm

    HUGO
    WALKER KABOUL VERTS CHIRICHES
    SANDRO
    ERICKSEN DEMBELE HOLTBY
    LAMELA SOLDADO

  31. tryme
    12/11/2013 @ 10:49 am

    YES YES YES post it to WHL STICK IT ON AVBS WIPER BLADES DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO BUT LET AVB KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING WRONG COYSSSSSSSSSSSS

  32. YiddenAgenda
    12/11/2013 @ 11:46 am

    I worry for Lamela. Considering the fickle muppets supporting (use that term VERY loosely) us, he’ll only need 1 poor/below par performance and they’ll be screaming for him to be deported back to The Falklands. Sheriff FC are not exactly in Man City/Man Utd’s comparison. He’ll need to be eased into the PL more than the EL.
    Things need tweaking, but the promise of a very good side is not far off. I agree, inverted wingers negates our positives. We achieve more with width and speed. Supplying the striker more often would possibly help improve our goals.
    But some of you must have very short memories, or are only supporting us for a year or 2 if you think this is the worst we’ve had it. Juande Ramos, Christian Gross, “Man in a Raincoat”, Gary Doherty, The 1990’s. THESE were bad times.
    But do you know what? I supported the team, sang my heart out. And made it through.
    COYS

  33. AlSpur
    12/11/2013 @ 12:47 pm

    So, we’re all agreed, then – changes need to be made:

    At LB, BAE should come back / but, is shit / JV should play there / Chiriches should play there

    At CB, it’s JV and YK / or, JV and VC / YK and VC / definitely not Dawson (our captain and ever-present during our best-ever start to a PL season – he’s fourth choice)

    In MF, Sandro has to play, but with Dembele / Dembele’s shit / Paulinho can’t play with a holding MF / Holtby’s not as good as Eriksen / Holtby and Eriksen should both play / can’t play together

    Out wide, it has to be Lennon / flatters to deceive / Townsend deserves more chances / one trick pony / Lamela has to start / one good game against Sheriff proves nothing / it’s Lennon and Lamela / it’s Lennon and Townsend / it’s Lamela and Townsend

    They need to get to the bye-line and stop this inverted nonsense / play their natural games

    Up front, Ade should come back / never play for the club again / Kane should play with Soldado / Holtby should play behind Soldado / Eriksen’s better than Holtby / Eriksen and Holtby should play together / can’t play together / we need Benteke

    Well, I’m glad we’re all agreed on the obvious solutions to these obvious problems. I dunno what AVB’s thinking – he must be blind not to have seen all this!!!

    After all, it’s not rocket science!!!

    • No one likes a smart arse...
      12/11/2013 @ 9:22 pm

      The point is AVB has made some shocking picks but more than that and regardless of who he selects, if the players go out having been told not to attack (and they clearly have been) we have no chance of ever seeing any improvement. AVB is more than happy with this boring style of play, this folks is as “good” as it gets.

      • AlSpur
        13/11/2013 @ 4:13 pm

        OK – you say some picks have been “shocking” and the players have “clearly” been told not to attack.

        Can you give me some examples of these “shocking picks”, please?

        I’m not quite sure what you mean by told not to attack, to be honest. Do you mean, not to bomb forward when we’re winning? Maybe that’s why he’s got the best win ratio of any Spurs manager, bar none.

        Just a thought.

        • Thoughts one two and three...
          13/11/2013 @ 9:04 pm

          No problem, read on….playing Dembele for any game in any position is a SHOCKING PICK. Dembele is a complete cheat, doesn’t defend, doesn’t create, doesn’t score. He does go sideways and he does pass backwards. Next one, selecting Naughton at LB was a SHOCKING PICK. Naughton is average at best and it has taken far too long for AVB to work that out. And another one, choosing Holtby in place of Eriksen is a SHOCKING PICK. Holtby has something to offer but he is no Eriksen. Dropping Saldado for Defoe versus WEST HAM was a SHOCKING PICK. Having two defensive midfielders (one left defensive and the other right defensive) are SHOCKING PICKS as leaves a dirty big hole in the centre for the opposition to run through (Chelsea at Home, West Ham at Home, Newcastle at Home) which has cost us goals. Sticking with Walker when he clearly needed a rest was a SHOCKING PICK. Deciding to play inverted wingers are SHOCKING PICKS. So, that’s defence, midfield and attack, in fact AVB could hardly have got it more wrong. Now then, your other point in being confused when I stated that we don’t attack. Are you seriously suggesting that we do? We go sideways and backwards and play keep he ball at all costs (including the cost of actually going forward) just so that All Very Boring can quote some poccession stats but we never attack with pace and/or go down the flanks. How will we ever score? The indisputable evidence of this is when we get a free kick in the opposition half and we actually knock it backwards to our centre backs. This has to be an instruction from AV no plan B as otherwise he should have been on his feet screaming at the players not to do it again. Also, have you seen when he whistles at the inverted wingers if they stray too far out to the touch lines as he wants them tucking in. Anyway, you keep thinking about it my friend as there isn’t much for you to watch.

  34. Jg292
    13/11/2013 @ 8:28 pm

    I’m not a spurs fan, but like reading this blog cos it’s got some interesting articles on. As an outsider I definitely think AVB deserves at least till the end of the season, and probably one more afterward. Sure, the performances can be a bit boring sometimes but Mourinho has become one of the worlds leading managers based on negative tactics. If spurs stick with AVB I reckon they will do well, although it might take some time. You should remember spurs got their highest ever points total last year and were unlucky to miss out on 4th again.

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