Once More Unto the Breach

As the new season draws near I think it prudent to remind everyone that we are Tottenham Hotspur from N17 not Bale FC, and I for one am one step away from combusting with anticipation.

Yes we always look forward to a new season with a bittersweet cocktail of angst and hope, but something about this season smells a little different than the usual armpit stench of an approaching deadline day with a redbull fuelled Jim White telling us that “Spurs have asked for extra half an hour to complete the signing of Porto’s Mouti…. Oh wait Harry Kane has gone to Norwich on loan”.

We’ve actually done some business early this year, and not just any business my fellow Lilywhite chums. Instead of a few players trickling in that we either haven’t heard of or have heard of and still don’t the point in signing, we have brought two players (so far) that will strengthen not only the squad but will valuable additions to the starting XI.

[linequote]Paulinho looks well up for the physical side of the game, but still has that sexy edge that seems to come naturally to the South Americans[/linequote]

Paulinho looks every bit the box to box player that will compliment Dembele and the mighty and much missed Sandro in AVB’s preferred 4-3-3 formation. I admit that he may take some time to adjust to the hard hitting, fast paced style of premiership, but unlike a lot of the silky, lightweight Brazilians who have previously tried their hand at the rough-and-tumble of the English game (I do not include Sandro in this, as who needs silk when you have steel), Paulinho looks well up for the physical side of the game, but still has that sexy edge that seems to come naturally to the South Americans.

When I saw the £17 million price tag I have to admit I assumed that would be our biggest piece business this window, and I believed I had been proved right when we announced the signing of Nacer Chadli, who looks great on YouTube (Youtube never lies I hear you cry), but the £6/7 million fee quoted does not scream world beater, but our chairman does like to keep us on our toes.

Enter Roberto Soldado. We have actually signed a striker. A genuine fox-in-the-box, 20+ goal a season, rather handsome chap who has a record that makes Defoe’s ‘natural finisher’ slogan look a bit piss poor. Adding to the merriment is the fact that not only have we signed a striker, we broke our transfer record doing it, £26 million. This is the first time in a while that our beloved club has shown such a high amount of ambition, and I am close to making a sticky mess in my boxer shorts.

[linequote]Not only have we signed a striker, we broke our transfer record doing it, 30 million euros[/linequote]

No Tottenham article is complete however without a pinch of Bale speculation. My personal belief is that Bale is going nowhere and all Real Madrid have done is raise the profile of our club and our player (Cheers then Mr Perez). With this opinion firmly cemented until I hear otherwise, I truly feel we have, on paper, the best starting 11 Tottenham have produced in my lifetime.

Fully fit centre backs aside I think are in great shape to take on the league head first and the romantic in me sees this team being more than capable of winning a trophy.

Before I leave you though, I would also like to take a second to tempt fate, because there is also a flip-side to this beautiful coin, and that my friends is the amusing slice of information that even though there are still a couple of weeks to go, our scummy neighbours over the way have done little to no business at all.

Their answer to Soldado is a young lad called Yaya Sanogo. I recently watched the scum play Galatasary in their latest endeavor to win a trophy (no matter how pointless) and the commentator described the Frenchman as “coltish”. I nearly agreed until I realised I thought he had said something else. This inactivity means that player for player our team is by far superior to what the crap goalkeeping, leaky back line, drugged up midfield and goal shy strikers of Woolwich have to offer.

[linequote]I truly believe from the bottom of my heart that we are going to push forward this season[/linequote]
To conclude, I am so wound up with untameable excitement that I may very well uncoil at lightning speed and lash out in a Sandro style spinning kick, hopefully chinning a Gooner in the process otherwise it would seem a waste of a good kick. I truly believe from the bottom of my heart that we are going to push forward this season. I await the Palace game like a tubby kid who has caught a sniff of dinner through the kitchen door. Come on you Spurs!

[author name=”Glen Stanbury (In the name of Hod)” avatar=”https://si0.twimg.com/profile_images/3327896969/b34d2c8072510a56935911d4486b6efb.jpeg” twitter=”GlenStanbury” website=”” tag=”GlenStanbury[/linequote]