Tottenham Hotspur Cocktails

Late on Saturday night as a barman performed his party trick and set fire to my rum cocktail, I struggled to ignore the price I was paying for this slice of theatre. Rather like football tickets, the price of drinks in the trendy areas of London has gone through the roof. Their similarities do not end there though, after an evening perched at the bar or standing/sitting at White Hart Lane, both will have you muttering:“I am never doing that again.”

Towards the end of what was a promising season Tottenham Hotspur can even come to resemble a Shoreditch cocktail. Take a tall glass of hope add too much ice/hype, throw in an average mixer or two, smother with a foreign or local overpriced spirit and serve with a giant slice of disappointment. Spurs just like the bottle juggler behind the bar will nevertheless demand your money and even expect a tip.

With Tottenham looking to build a new stadium, how long will it be until Daniel Levy attempts to increase the revenue by introducing these cocktails into a jazzy corporate drinks menu?

The Neapolitan:

Ice cream and booze. Tasty. Make that vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice-cream and you get a modern cocktail that will wobble the knees of even the strongest willed lady. Inspired by Jermain Defoe, the man who packs a rampant Neapolitan appendage, this drink is more than a one trick pony.

Served in a not so tall glass, the luxurious ice cream is smothered in Baileys and decorated with cherries. It is truly the drink to woo your ex/current girlfriend, or that hairdresser down the street that does your misses hair.

The Bloody Hairy:

Big, bold and solid this cocktail is based on the once semi-mobile, now statuesque Tom Huddlestone. The key ingredient to this classic is Tomato Juice, but after his love affair with Ketchup was ended by Juande Ramos, the redesigned cocktail has been tinkered to include the Hudd’s favourite sauce.

Spurs will have to spend an awful lot of money on the naming rights to this cocktail, meaning Big Wigs are confident that there wont be a first-team goal inspired hair cut any time this decade. A common garnish to this cocktail is celery but in light of its inspiration, the drink will be served with a battered sausage.

The Virgin Carroll:

Fresh faced Tom Carroll has a lot of hopes pinned on his diminutive shoulders. After demonstrating that he can pass, run and tackle, putting him at an advantage over Scott Parker and Huddlestone already, he now has a signature drink. This refreshing cocktail has everything the Bloody Hair has, but is refined, lighter and more palatable.

This cocktail may not quite make the final list though as some at Spurs don’t think it is quite ready yet, despite a lot of us already being big fans.

Prince of Wales:

Created by Edward VII, not the current holder of this title, Spurs have decided to dedicate this drink to the Welsh former wing-now-central wizard Gareth Bale. Described as the perfect drink to dive right into, it will always leave you expecting more and more, sometimes beyond reason.

There is a commercial opportunity to Latino it up with some Spanish liqueur, but for now there are no plans to do so, thankfully.

Aggravation:

This cocktail is based on the White Russian, but made from whiskey to give it a whole new meaning. Originally based on Super Pav, this cocktail has been modified to suit current aggravation to many, Emmanuel Adebayor. Like the Russian he is on occasions capable of greatness, but these a few and immeasurably far between.

This cocktail has been know to delight after one or two sips, but after repeated drinking you will be left with a rather expensive drink that you can’t quite stomach anymore and doesn’t do much.

The Moon-Walker:

The first drink handed to the 1969 Lunar heroes as they stepped off the film set at a secret base somewhere in the Nevada Dessert. This is a Grand Marnier based drink that occasional goes missing and can seriously mess you up, especially if things are going to plan.

These are only a selection of cocktails, but for Legend Nights and testimonials expect some classics to wheeled out, how about one of these former Spur cocktails?

The Bobby Pimms? The Charlie Curacaoluka? Martini Jol?

What ever your tipple though, please drink responsibly.