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We shoved it up United; we shoved it up The Sun

5 min read
by The Fighting Cock
Like the rest of you, I spent last weekend in a big mushroom cloud of ecstasy (no, not the narcotic, although the effect was much the same.) Tottenham shirts were all over the place in London, as we all high-fived each other and scoured the globe for any United fans we knew. I even rang […]

Like the rest of you, I spent last weekend in a big mushroom cloud of ecstasy (no, not the narcotic, although the effect was much the same.) Tottenham shirts were all over the place in London, as we all high-fived each other and scoured the globe for any United fans we knew. I even rang up a lad I haven’t spoken to since secondary school, just because I had ran out of Utd fans to throw obscenities at.

Ring ring.

Utd fan; “Hello?”

Me; “3-2! Suck on that! Suck it!”

Utd fan; “Who’s this?”

I put the phone down as I couldn’t be bothered having a proper conversation with him, I had far too much drinking to do.

I know it is only one game, it’s only 3 points, it’s not a guarantee of a top 4 slot, and it’s not like we’ve won a trophy for our hard-fought 94 minutes, but as a long serving Tottenham fan, I have learned to enjoy the little things while they are there. If the season implodes and it all goes to the dogs, it will be these small moments that I can look back on with a smile.

The day started with a certain article in The Sun trying to make us believe that we were in ‘turmoil’. Sherwood frozen out of 1st team affairs and was on his bike, players meeting with management complaining of how terrible life is under Satan reincarnate AVB.

[linequote]As a long serving Tottenham fan, I have learned to enjoy the little things while they are there. If the season implodes and it all goes to the dogs, it will be these small moments that I can look back on with a smile.[/linequote]

Not a great beginning to a day when, let’s face it, we had all conceded the points to United before a ball had even been kicked. Nonetheless, those of us who did not have a golden ticket all crowded around our televisions to watch the inevitable loss manifest itself. The ref blew his whistle, the game kicked off and we continued our grand tradition of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Bang! Jan ‘the man’ Vertonghen with a great run and a shot that took no deflection what-so-ever (shhhhh). 1-0 to the mighty Spurs, but the celebrations were marred by a collective thought of ‘we’ve scored too early.’ Dembele and Sandro were running the show in the middle of the park and our full backs were pushing Utd further and further into their own half. Bang! Gareth ‘I would be prepared to have your babies’ Bale showed how old Ferdinand really is by blowing past him and slotting it in the bottom left corner. 2-0 to the mighty Spurs, but the celebrations were marred by a collective thought of ‘we’ve scored too early, again’.

Half-time brought with it conflicting emotions of excitement and apprehension. I was doing my best not to get my hopes up while still getting carried away with the scoreline. Various views on how the 2nd half would pan out were being thrown around the pub like white and blue confetti, but all of these got lodged in the throat as the game got back underway.

Nani put United straight back in the game before I’d even taken a sip of my freshly-poured pint. ‘Here we go again’ almost turned into a chant, because so many people said it at exactly the same time, 2-1, and an old familiar fear started making its way up my spine. Bang! Clint ‘I’m not too sure about you yet, but good on you lad’ Dempsey pounced on a rebounding Bale shot. I couldn’t tell if I was shocked because we’d scored straight away or because Defoe had held the ball up and actually passed it (for any of you who didn’t get to watch the game, I’m honestly not joking he really did pass it). Then Kagawa cut us all short by taking advantage of some bad positioning by our defence. 3-2 and United were brething down our necks. The rest of the half was a cardiac arrest waiting to happen. My rear was clenched so tightly that I was practically chewing on my prostate. This handsome face of mine was never more than 3 inches from a TV screen covered in my own spit. Pieces of me were dying every time United had a chance, and I think we can all agree that they had a lot of chances.

The blessed final whistle, oh how I love thee. I jumped so high that I hit my head on a light fitting, but who cares, we’d just done the Red Devils on their own turf. My Lilywhites and I hugged and jumped all over each other in what I can only describe as a huge love in, but once the dust had settled, we all waited for the post-match interview for we knew what was to come. Everybody has said what a nerve Ferguson had to moan about added time, especially after everything that has transpired in our fixtures at Old Trafford in the past, but, if we are all honest with ourselves, we all wanted him to complain about something just so we could say ‘Who does he think he is!? How dare he!? What about the time when (insert your worst Utd memory here)!?’ We all wanted him to do it and we loved it when he did. Not a lot of class from a so called ‘Sir’, but he gave us the fuel to light a fire of unashamed self riotousness, cheers for that Alex, you’re a gem.

What a great day. We shoved it up United, we shoved it up The Sun and we shoved it up Piers Morgan’s twitter account. Remember, if the season does go down the toilet, these are the days that we should keep in our hearts. Now bring on Woolwich, the Russian Mob and anyone else who wants some. COYS!

[author name=”Glen Stanbury” avatar=”https://twimg0-a.akamaihd.net/profile_images/2525747027/JzKfli9b” twitter=”GlenStanbury” tag=”GlenStanbury[/linequote]

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13 Comments

  1. Will
    06/10/2012 @ 3:25 pm

    yeah we sure did!!!
    Of course the difference there was we were only winning for 45mins unlike our usual 70mins plus 20mins of clinging on for dear life.
    Wake Up!!!

    We are NOWHERE near a 90 min side yet and when we are I might consider us with a chance but until then….NO!!!

  2. cookiebun
    06/10/2012 @ 3:48 pm

    Yeah, I’m afraid that this ‘hanging on lark’ doesn’t do my ticker any good. Maybe when we get Ade and Parker into the team (or on the bench) and Younnes Kaboul back it’ll make it less risky. Still AVB deserves credit for the way he’s doing things. At least he’s working for Spurs and not himself, like someone (with a twitch) whom I won’t mention.

  3. Alan Costa Blanca
    06/10/2012 @ 4:19 pm

    Tomorrows Another Day,how true,Goals win games,giving them away is no good,BUT,
    Daws & Huds back on bench,back to our Best eleven at the Moment !! Two World Class
    Players Required, Dan get your cash ready in January,”ISCO” & “Llorente & “Zaha”loan him
    back to Crystal Palace until Summer !! Ade I hope will be given time Manana !!
    Take it from me I`m never Wrong !!

  4. David Graniewitz
    06/10/2012 @ 6:04 pm

    A great piece. When Bale scored Spurs’s second, I said, “That’s it. We’ve definitely lost.” I love being proved wrong.

  5. Jez
    06/10/2012 @ 7:21 pm

    I don’t buy the Sun because I have a reading age in double figures, but it certainly adds to the enjoyment knowing that their low-IQ journalists are as well-informed as ever.

  6. ASpursFan
    06/10/2012 @ 11:23 pm

    Dear Spursfans
    I love Spur and have been doing so over the last 35 years. So please don’t call me a traitor. But as much as you – the fans and the heart of it – I love the club we must be realistic about Spurs possibilities with the current bunch of management and playing staff. Beating Man U at their backyard after 23 years is sweet, very pleasing for long suffering fans. But you must also see how the Chelseas, the Arsenals, Man Cities are playing with their star-studded players to show! As much we dislike their performances we must also accept our limitations. Don’t just get overexcited with one win against one of the Big Fours – it still is just three points NOT that doesn’t give any guarantee to beat our neighbours. The day we reach that point I will kiss Levy’s feet and salute YOU all.

    • Jez
      07/10/2012 @ 1:10 pm

      How many clubs are there called Chelsea, Arsenal and Man City?

  7. ColinSC
    07/10/2012 @ 2:12 am

    I am not sure why we keep so quiet about that deflection before the Vert goal? The Man U Player dived and hand balled it, now isn’t that normally a red card offense and I am pretty sure the goal would still have counted if the ref had blown for it.

  8. Will
    07/10/2012 @ 8:22 am

    Colin…FFS whatever he failed to give us that was deserved, he still BROKE THE MOLD and gave MU nothing that was undeserved and undoubtely wrong as has every other referee (hello “honest” mr Webb) over the last 20 yrs at OT.

    I also love the MU boards about “Scholes’ passing master class” in the second half. He sat out of reach of all of our players while good ol’ Brad hoofed it to MU players 99% of the time (that half) who then gave it to Scholes how then “disposed ” of it as part of his master class. FFS I could have done the same and made the same number of passes although I doubt with such high accuracy. A little like the GK being given 10 when the other side had no shots on goal.

  9. In the name of Hod
    07/10/2012 @ 9:21 am

    those goal kicks to lennon were doing my head in

  10. Lilywhite London
    07/10/2012 @ 12:41 pm

    Got the win, great 1st half but the jury is still out on AVB for me although the signs are far better than
    they were before the Reading game. The Reading game was a turnaround for me, Utd away was a great moment and great in the 1st half but on another day it could easily have been 5-2, lets be honest…

    We got totally battered 2nd half and although AVB seems to favour counter attack for every single game and throughout every single minute of every game, i doubt it working all the time in this league. We need to come out and press far better than we do 2nd half but we keep sitting back and inviting them on. Just as we did at home against Norwich when 1-0 up, i mean come on!! I think AVB is
    winning the battle and the players seem to be responding well and i hope this continues. My slight question mark over AVB is if he has a ‘plan-b’ and if he is able to get us dominating home games and being ruthless away when required to finish teams off or. We saw the same in the week in Athens, good play, take the lead but then sit back and make the opposition feel they have every chance of getting back in it. Norwich, almost with Utd and now Panathanikos…

    Lets hope AVB can sort this, if he does then we could have a great season.

  11. Lilywhite London
    07/10/2012 @ 2:52 pm

    Half time at The Lane against Villa and just as i thought, defensive and predictable. The play needs to be more attacking and far quicker, can AVB only manage away sides or what? We are playing like the away side and handing the momentum to Villa. Not good enough, it needs to improve second half, come on AVB, show what you can do.

  12. Football Accumulator UK
    12/10/2012 @ 2:53 pm

    Like David said, when Bale scored I thought that’s our usual 2-0 lead, we are doomed now and my heart sank. It is a strange feeling, going 2-0 and then feeling you are even more likely to lose…

    I felt like we had won the FA Cup at full time! Right, lets do the same to Chelsea….

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