Super-flop Andre is new Spurs Boas
REPORTER IGGY NORANT WRITES FOR THE SUN ON TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR’S NEW MANAGERIAL APPOINTMENT
ANDRE-VILLAS BOAS was yesterday announced new Tottenham Hotspur manager on a 3-year-deal but is widely expected to be leaving the club in the next few months.
The wannabe-Mourinho, who flopped so badly at huge west London club Chelsea, faces an immediate dressing room mutiny led by the outspoken Ledley King.
The likes of Friedel, Cudicini and Gallas are also against the new head coach and have publicy said that they refuse to take orders from a man younger than them.
Many of the Spurs squad are said to be upset that Daniel Levy didn’t consult them before appointing the 34-year-old chancer, after having formed an intense hatrid of the Portuguese coach ever since he upset John Terry and Frank Lampard so badly.
The players are also said to be dissappointed at the prospect of having to train for the first time in 4 years.
But chairman Daniel Levy insists that it is the right appointment for the club saying on the club website,’The extra poster sales from having a more good-looking manager should bring in enough revenue to take the club to the next level.’
AVB plans to completely reshape the aging Spurs squad, and has been tasked with starting a new era at Tottenham.
He brings old school mates Jose Mario Rocha and Daniel Sousa with him to Tottenham to help him with his ‘project’ and to make sure he has someone to play with at lunch time.
Up to 9 current players could be on their way out, whilst any player not willing to learn Portuguese will be quickly moved on as the stubborn AVB looks to make his mark on the Tottenham team.
The manager is said to have come up with a strict shortlist of players who would fit his highly-scientific 4-3-3 formation, and has misguided Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy’s full backing in bringing in these players.
Possible transfer targets for the flailing club include former Spurs ace Helder Postiga who is supposed to be good friends with the new boss at White Hart Lane.
However, the instability caused by AVB’s appointment will mean that star players Bentley and Modric will seek moves out of the club. Both of whom are central to the new coach’s plans at Tottenham.
Real Madrid are said to have expressed an interested in signing the highly-rated pair.
All Spurs fans are outraged with the shock appointment, with TalkSport caller Harry saying, ‘Not convinced by this lad, couldn’t do it in the Prem before, so what’s to say he can do it now?’
Rumours of a fan protest continue to gain momentum, with fans dissappointed in the Tottenham chairman’s evident lack of ambition for the club.
Tottenham’s new manager is already on the brink of losing his job with odds of him being sacked before Christmas being slashed to 10/1.
The ever popular Redknapp is highly fancied to return to the club in his place.
[author name=”henryp0p” avatar=”http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/1873115387/SMALL-SQ.jpg” twitter=”footballthatall” website=”footballthatsall.blogspot.co.uk” tag=”henryp0p[/linequote]
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37 Comments
Would you like to write for The Fighting Cock?
The whistle blows
05/07/2012 @ 7:29 pm
I agree, total chancer – what has he ever won eh? ANd as far as I know, he has never done an interview on a golf course, from his car window or outside a court room! Twit! Not for me thanks, and he speaks foreign apparently!
nicholson61
06/07/2012 @ 1:34 am
Love It!!
Liamyid
05/07/2012 @ 7:33 pm
What a load of shit, as Ledley would lead a player revolt and since when has Bentley been pivotal to our team. What a idiot you are!!!
drcarlos
05/07/2012 @ 7:38 pm
Did you seriously believe this was a real article?
thewhistleblows
05/07/2012 @ 7:55 pm
The reports name is “IGNORANT” ffs! Get it now??!
Darren
05/07/2012 @ 8:20 pm
you’re joking, right?
henryp0p
05/07/2012 @ 8:46 pm
:’)
Enforcer
05/07/2012 @ 7:34 pm
Dont know where you get all your inaccuracies from, go do your research again…
james
05/07/2012 @ 7:36 pm
Are you retarded? Stop jumping on the bandwagon
The whistle blows
05/07/2012 @ 7:39 pm
Seriously – there needs to be an IQ check on here! Your irony was not wasted on me at least!
spurs guvnor
05/07/2012 @ 7:39 pm
A pathetic attempt at sarcasm!
Terry
05/07/2012 @ 7:39 pm
Your are the only cock on this website, The Sun, written by old men for fourteen year olds.
Marko
05/07/2012 @ 7:41 pm
Help me here. Are these comments so ironic that they lose or do some people really believe what you wrote? Top article. Death to the Mirror and Express.
Terry
05/07/2012 @ 7:43 pm
Look, can’t you see, The Sun pay Arry and this tosser is writing shit to take the temperature of how we feel.
henryp0p
05/07/2012 @ 8:42 pm
cheers Marko
warren mitchell
05/07/2012 @ 7:41 pm
Nice piece. Funny
spooky
05/07/2012 @ 8:02 pm
Loving your work.
luke
05/07/2012 @ 8:11 pm
Come on people. How can you not tell this is a joke. I found it very funny. Good work. Well written. COYS
TMWNN
05/07/2012 @ 8:12 pm
Funniest comments I’ve read for sometime.
Do we really have supporters as thick as one or two above?
TMWNN
05/07/2012 @ 8:14 pm
Love the elitism of the pale blue comment box too.
Really sets you apart from the rest of us riff raff.
tmwnn
06/07/2012 @ 1:33 am
Was that your idea, Case, you snob.
Case
11/07/2012 @ 9:12 pm
I don’t generally reply to the little people but yes, the powerful blue boxes was my doing.
spooky
10/07/2012 @ 11:16 pm
LOL @ elitism. So true. Flav’s idea. The bloke is out of control.
ash
05/07/2012 @ 8:16 pm
Fuck the lot of you.Im Dan the drummers bro he says leave him alone he needs a chane
ash
05/07/2012 @ 8:17 pm
Or a chance either one of the 2 is fine
Ray
05/07/2012 @ 8:34 pm
Guys, look at the name of the autour of this article, IGNORANT with an additional GY thrown in for good measure. It’s meant as a wind up knowing full well how us Spurs fans would react. If on the other hand this person meant to write this shit, he or she is a coward by using a pseudonym.
SK Kwan
05/07/2012 @ 8:36 pm
Ridiculous. It is just a story fabricated by ‘Arry and his fellows.
At this stage, a real Spurs fan will definitely support the new manager and the chairman, look forward to seeing a new and strong squad and expect a good season ahead.
NYSpur
05/07/2012 @ 8:38 pm
Poorly written, unfunny knock-off of the Dr Mr Levy spoof, but days later. Can’t believe it still fooled some people. Makes me sad to support the same team as them.
henryp0p
05/07/2012 @ 8:44 pm
Poorly written on purpose and it was an accidental “knock-off”.
elwehbi
05/07/2012 @ 8:49 pm
ITK here… he’s already been sacked.
Torontospur
05/07/2012 @ 9:47 pm
We really do have some absolute trogs amongst us…lol….dont worry we love em all .
superb sarcasm. :)
COYS.
CyprusYid
05/07/2012 @ 10:12 pm
Brilliant! Well played. You was right in one of the podcasts, there are 90% fans that are utter twats!
cookiebun
06/07/2012 @ 12:04 am
Children must play.
mR HaRy rEDnAp
06/07/2012 @ 4:40 am
i fINk mR bOaZ sHud wIn tHe lEaGue wIv tHesE pLAyeRs.
mR rEDnaP sEt iT uP foR hiM juSt pErFEct
john
06/07/2012 @ 11:11 am
The Sun just can’t get it right since it stopped hacking.
thththchriswaddle
06/07/2012 @ 4:41 pm
Brilliant and well ended. “The Popular Harry is in line to replace him”.
The fact the Article is by Iggy Norant should have been a clue for some people.
Yid1882
09/07/2012 @ 8:04 pm
LMFAO ..The SUN!! Redknapps paper! .. Love it, there can never be enough piss taking out of that prat RedJoke!! Brilliant!