By Wobbly_Desk In just a few hours’ time I’ll be out of work and on my way to the Lane. I can’t wait. Some of my best memories of watching Spurs at the Lane come from this fixture, probably because it stirs up the sort of hatred in me that can only be replicated when […]
Why I hate Chelsea
By Wobbly_Desk
In just a few hours’ time I’ll be out of work and on my way to the Lane. I can’t wait. Some of my best memories of watching Spurs at the Lane come from this fixture, probably because it stirs up the sort of hatred in me that can only be replicated when Le Scum visit our Mecca of football.
I wasn’t at last year’s fixture, instead watching the game in a pub in Camden with Thelonious Filth, behind a couple of Chelsea fans who perfectly summed up the way I see the majority of their fans – uneducated football types with no idea of anything outside of their Roman Abramovich-funded Chelsea bubble.
Sometimes people look at me oddly when I say Chelsea are possibly my most hated club (even above Arsenal). Let me explain. I hate Arsenal because I’m a Spurs fan. I loathe the fact that they assemble teams and squads with no English players, have a soul-less stadium, represent mass consumerism to its fullest and have a manager who looks and sounds like the guy at the end of the street who peeks out of this bedroom window wearing yellow marigolds, stained Y-fronts and holding a packet of slobbered on Haribo.
My hatred for Arsenal is probably slightly lower than some of my fellow Spurs-supporting brothers and sisters because I grew up in Sussex, and not London. I know a few Arsenal fans, and generally (though there are some absolute tools) they’re okay. Outside of football, I can have a conversation with them and find them okay to be around as long as they don’t talk about football. Sometimes I even find it quite refreshing, as they constantly seem to bitch about all of their players (except the Freddie Mercury lookalike), so I usually don’t even have to say anything derogatory about their team, though I usually throw something in about Theo Walcott (sorry Flav). I actually live with a Scum fan, and I haven’t poisoned his food yet.
I’ve yet to meet a Chelsea fan that I can talk to for more than about 60 seconds. You certainly can’t talk about football with them. Imagine how embarrassing it would be to chat to a rival fan, and realise that that rival fan knows more about your club than you. See, in my experience, the typical Chelsea fan can talk about the Abramovich days and absolutely nothing beyond that. If you get to talking about Vialli, Gullit and Hoddle you’re lucky. Any further back than that and you’re either talking to a guy in his 50s, or older, or one of the very few true Chelsea fans still bothering to follow his/her joke of a club. As a kid I grew up amongst Liverpool, United, Palace and Arsenal fans. I knew two Chelsea-supporting kids (they were both fat and shit at football). They were drawn to their club not by the wealth of talent that was Dmitri Kharine, Erland Johnsen, Eddie Newton, Gavin Peacock and Paul Furlong et al, but because of family ties. Now you see a fat chav bird with her big fat belly sticking out beneath her luminous yellow Lampard shirt, or some guy called Wayne rocking a blue Drogba shirt with a kid called Chelsea hanging off his teenage girlfriend’s pram. He’s usually sipping a Special Brew too and has less teeth than Chelsea had cups during the pre-Hoddle era.
Yes I HATE Chelsea. And today, as I pass the Chelsea shirts that spew out of the local JJB sports shop, I’ll remind myself of all those times they’ve beaten us in the past (even with the likes of Mark Stein and Paul Elliot in their team) and feel my blood pressure rise.
Then there’s the dodgy decisions from last season, the Modric saga and the JT racism storm. You may have to look after me today Thelonious, I don’t want to get thrown out by Tottenham stewards in funny looking camera-hats – especially the dude with the crazy Will Smith high top!
Come On You Spurs.
All views and opinions expressed in this article are the views and opinions of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of The Fighting Cock. We offer a platform for fans to commit their views to text and voice their thoughts. Football is a passionate game and as long as the views stay within the parameters of what is acceptable, we encourage people to write, get involved and share their thoughts on the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.
14 Comments
Would you like to write for The Fighting Cock?
22/12/2011 @ 2:14 pm
excellent review of a chav …
22/12/2011 @ 4:42 pm
respect w_d… if any football club deserves to be loathed beyond measure, it’s those abramo-bitches from west london.
it’s no coincidence that (give or take a few letters) “c-h-e-l-s-e-a” is an anagram for “c-u-n-t-s”.
16/12/2013 @ 8:23 pm
You incite hatred. Why||||||||||||||||||||||
22/12/2011 @ 6:51 pm
Look closer at the tattoo, it does say cnut. Those are just stretch marks making it look like there’s more letters.
23/12/2011 @ 10:18 am
Well, after last night’s game my hatred for Chelsea has grown even more. Howard Webb may as well have been wearing a Chelsea shirt, I saw a guy get nutted by one of theirs outside the ground and JT’s slapping of the chest at the end was just embarrassing…. he looked like he was part of the Third Reich – what a mug!
23/12/2011 @ 11:27 am
Well said WD. Growing up in Essex I hated the scum much more than Chelsea, who didn’t have a big presence in Essex at that point (lots of them on the train to Liverpool Street nowadays though).
But I’ve lived my adult life in South London, now living in Croydon, so I’m surrounded by Chelsea. Your description of their understanding and knowledge of football being limited to their Chelsea bubble is spot on, it’s one of their most irritating traits.
Your depiction of the super skol swilling toothless dosser who wears his ‘chels’ shirt and has slanging matches in the street with Waynetta is very familiar to me too.
Even the chavs I know who aren’t really chavs talk absolute, undiluted bullshit about football. They just manage to do it without threatening to punch you, a wall, or their pet staffy if you dare to criticise their beloved ‘chels’.
I detest these twats as much as the scum, there’s no difference in it for me.
23/12/2011 @ 12:11 pm
Yeah, Croydon is a hotspot for them. I’m from Crawley, which isn’t far away. I actually tried having a convo with one recently and he just started singing ‘Chelsea, Chelsea. Chelseaaaaa’ in my face! absolutely no intelligable conversation whatsoever. I don’t want to sound like i’m sticking up for the goon squad here, but i can have an intelligable conversation with them about how shit Walcott is… i couldn’t have the same conversation with a Chelsea fan about Mikel. The amount of girls who support Chelsea is also quite funny…. ‘yeh, but no but, yeah but, Lampard’s well fit’…. absolute scum.
One song Chavski. Stick that blue flag up yer ass!
COYS
19/03/2012 @ 6:08 pm
Whoa! I’ve just read this article and I must say that it was a very fascinating read & the writer has done a good job with this.
To be honest as much as I hate Arsenal, and as painful as this is to say, I actually have some form of respect for them because at least they didn’t buy their way to the top & at least they’ve used their hard earned money like us whereas Chelsea are just your typical Johnny Come Latelys who have turned football into a corporate joke (and thanks to these Chavs, Man City took it a step further!) & have relied on some Mafia lord to fund their successes since 2003. Also, I am aware that Arsenal brought in a lot of plastics to the Emirates (I know this from going to away games & because my boyfriend is a lifelong Arsenal fan & even he has said it). However, Chelsea could barely fill in their own section of the Shed End let alone the Bridge when they were nothing. When you compare going to away games at the Emirates or at the Bridge, both are very embarrassing & you can always outsing their nouveau brigades, but I’d say that the Bridge has worse support. So all in all, I’d say that in terms of support, Chelsea are a lot more plastic than Arsenal.
Who do I hate more? In terms of passion for my club, and due to the fact that I was a local girl (before moving to Swindon), Arsenal all the way. However, in terms of football reasons, I’d hate Chelsea more because I hate the fact that they’re using a sugar daddy’s money to buy trophies.
Who would I prefer to see win in an Arsenal-Chelsea fixture? That’s a question that I could never answer as I hate both teams, but put it this way, whilst I won’t get any pleasure seeing a winner in this fixture, I’d just get pleasure taking the piss out of whoever loses! :-)
24/03/2012 @ 11:56 pm
in reply to natalie, i couldn’t agree with her comments anymore although there’s 1 bit that i disliked about her post and that was the fact that she was dating an arse-anal fan lol!! to be honest, i do respect the scum for what they have won whereas chelsea are just money money money pretty much. not only that whenever we play the chavs, ure guaranteed to get nazi salutes from those twats. ok, a few scum fans may have done it to us once or twice but at chavscum, youre guaranteed nazi salutes and chants of ‘spurs r on their way to auschwitz’
they are classless plastic tossers n i get as much pleasure seeing them lose as the i get with the scum!!!
01/04/2012 @ 5:26 pm
Well,all I would like to say is that Abrahimovich has not “pumped” money and “bought” the PL title.In a way,yes,they’ve got enough cash to buy out United,but still mates..It’s tough on their part.
23/04/2012 @ 10:49 am
Oh my God, Saturday was painful. I was in a position where I did not want either team to win but at the same time, I would have had pleasure seeing a loser. Ah well, I was happy that it was a boring 0-0. Arsenal-Chelsea is always a game that I hate with the passion due to those 2 teams being gay! Anyway, I’m praying for a Barcelona victory against Chelsea tomorrow. I really will enjoy it if they can do it against these moneybags!
25/05/2012 @ 12:05 am
I’ve only just got over Saturday but I was filled with venom! Bayern Munich were robbed by those plastic Johnny-come-latelys. Had it not been for Cech & Drogba, that was Bayern’s trophy all day long. Chelsea FC winning the Champions League?? More like Cech and Drogba FC winning the Champions League. Seeing John Terry picking up that trophy made me want to kill somebody!
18/06/2012 @ 6:31 pm
Complete load of BS based on an incredibly narrow minded view. As a Chelsea fan born in the early/mid 90’s, how am I for one meant to have that amazing knowledge of the pre-Abramovich days as shockingly I was more concerned with learning how to walk and talk than the week’s footy results! I do remember a portion of the Vialli era though, my first match I ever went to was actually at White Hart Lane which saw Zola, Poyet, Flo, Wise etc give Spurs a 3-0 drubbing. Pure jealously in a similar vein as the Scousers who can’t accept that a historically inferior rival has overtaken them, even before we got taken over. And of course not every Chelsea fan supports JT in his trial, although as yet he has not been found guilty of anything. Enjoy the Europa League.
30/12/2013 @ 11:16 pm
I love to hear you front wheel skids slate Chelsea! Long may the jealousy continue!
Best wishes from the gasman!